SHADOWS and SKELETONS

     Shadows of the past will always haunt us back as long as we keep skeletons in our closet...

     Unresolved issues in our lives that has been buried long before as we try to forget it will be forever etched deep within us not unless we free ourselves from it. It will always be a shadow that will follow us as we go on in life. Forgetting it is a temporary solution or more as an escape than solving life's negative issues which we cannot avoid for it is a part our existence. Facing it... accepting it... and dealing it with right judgment, fair wisdom, and forgiving heart will free us from being a prisoner of our dark past.

     I realize that those shadows and skeletons in our lives are there on purpose... and that is to benefit from it as a lesson not to fall from it again and appreciate more of what freedom from our own crosses truly means. 

Photo by: Sukito San

MOMENTS and MEMORIES

     Life is a collection of moments as time turns it into memories.

     It's hard for us to remember the exact dates of our life events... because it's the moment that we truly remember.  Moments are compiled by the heart while the brain filters it and then archive it as memories. 

Shared moments with a loved one... will always be remembered by the heart even the mind begins to forget as it gets old with time. On this sense, moments taught me to treasure them as I enjoy their company... while imprinted memories in my head made me value it even more. It made me realize to never be ashamed or be afraid of showing how I love my family and friends while they're still here with me. Happy and unexpected moments are the ones that can wow us in the future when we suddenly think about it while leaving a slight glowing smile on our faces.

     Create priceless moments because they are the ones that give everlasting memories :)

Photo by: Sukito San

RISKING and TRYING

     You'll never know unless you try...

     Life is a learning process and sometimes you have to take a risk for you to have the answers on what you've been looking for. Others are playing safe because of lack of courage to find out on what lies beyond. But who knows!... unless you give it a shot. It maybe a wrong choice when you get there but at least you've learned. You may succeed as well and reap the fruit of your brave act of risking and trying. After all, trying is never ending if we are eager to accomplish something. It's fine to be contented and be happy for what's enough for us. But greener pastures are not for free. Yet, it needs a little encouragement from ourselves to fuel our inner drive in life. "Victory comes to those who patiently wait", as they say, but it will be sweeter if you work hard for it.

     I remember what my mother always tell me that there's NO HARM IN TRYING. We just have to keep on going :)

Photo by: Sukito San

A SCRIPTED LIFE? written by: Sukito

"Wherever LIFE will take you, LEARN from it!"
A pregnant woman gave birth to a child after nine months. A child grows. Baptismal, first birthday, second birthday, third birthday, and so on... as time passed by. The child goes to school, nursery, primary, up to secondary years. Making friends along the way. Attraction grows and first crush gets in the way. Falling in love. Then relationship follows... breaking up, ending it, moving on, and making a new one that you can call your special someone, or fighting for that person who made you feel how first love blooms. Going to college. Pursuing to finish your studies while getting a degree. Some gets another degree if they're wealthy enough or just love learning over and over again because it adds up to your title, your additional credential in your biodata. Others find a job after graduating to college. One course is enough especially if you have to work for your family. To give your parents a comfortable life. You can also regard it as paying it back forward to your mother and father for bringing you up the way you were right now. Others find a good and stable job that can provide even for building a new family. Others don't and just keeps on being a contractual, renewing contracts, and finding a new job for the nth time. While some... unemployed and jobless.
Unfortunately, some got lost along the way. Where road is tough and life is bitter. There are many who walks on this world and just taking their last breath who doesn't even know how it feels like to go into school, to even write a name or just read a simple letter... yet learns how to count even the simplest addition and subtraction. Some falls into vices, drug addiction, alcoholism, sex addiction, severe depression, big amount of debts, alone... with nothing on the pocket and with no one to lean on. Those who can't cope up of losing a loved one, who can't let go of fading memories, of torturing traumas that's digging up beneath their brain. Many who fails in life just quit and accepts the failure while others unfortunately loses their sanity and builds a fantasy of their own. Far from all life's troubles and problems... far from reality. But there were those who don't walk away from the game of life where everything for them is a challenge... where hardships strengthens them and burns the fire in their heart. Giving them the adrenaline rush that drives them to continue moving forward. To fight brave and square... and succeeding in the end where life is sweet and unpredictable.
Wedding bells ring and settling down is an option. A lifetime status of being "single" for the others, keeps on searching desperately. Looking for that someone who holds the other half of their heart. Others manages of being alone. They say they were happy and it's their choice. Isn't it? Those who got a divine calling and follow their vocation of being a priest, a nun, or a monk maybe.
For me, life is still a mystery yet a scripted one. Only that we are the one who chooses our own scripts and roles to act. We do not know what it holds for us. Maybe life is just one percent destiny and the rest is what we make it... of what we wanted to be. Life is like a cycle... we live in routines of doing everything within sunrise and sunset, of growing up and growing old, from a single cell into a dust of the Earth. I think, we should seize the day! Make the best out of ourselves in everything we do. Learning a lesson in life's bitterness and rejoicing with gratitude in life's sweetness. One's life victory is not measured by how one successfully lives but by how one rose up in every fall. Sounds cliche but true.
After wedding bells and honeymoons, one will become a mother and will give birth. A new child will be born. And the cycle goes on and on...

RESPECT FOR THE DEAD written by: Sukito

This year I failed to visit the cemetery for All Soul's day because of this untimely fever with cough and flu. Anyway, I'll try to make it up some other time. I have the rest of the year to visit my dear ones who have passed away in anytime of my availability. It's the prayers that counts after all and that's what the souls need wherein we can do it anywhere... all the time.
Last year, I have this one unforgettable visit in the cemetery with my family. I saw a beggar who entered and I thought that he's going to beg for some alms for those people who's inside the said place. I prejudged again. To my surprise, he sat as he placed a mat in front of one tomb, put a dirty artificial flowers which he pulled out from his garbage sack in front of the epitaph, lit a candle, knelt down and prayed sincerely. I kept on observing him and it was a long prayer. I've tried to pass on his back just to read the name on the epitaph. I supposed that it was his mother based on the date written on it. I somehow felt goosebumps not because of scary stuff but because I felt his genuine and deep love for his mom that he still honors even death gets in their way. I felt his sorrow and his longing for a lost loved one. People used to pass on the place where he is seated and they looked at him and stared at him from head to foot... seems like they are judging him in something negative notion and some in great pity on him. Just by his appearance, he can really caught the attention of the cemetery goers. Some people especially those nonsense teenagers used to tease him and laugh and make fun of him... and he doesn't mind it at all. I should have done something and have defended him in any possible way against those shallow-minded youngsters. But, I was preoccupied in my thought of many negative outcomes just in case I interfere in the situation plus the fact of little guilt within me because of judging him in the first place. Luckily, cemetery guards came to the rescue and all ends up well. He remained calm amidst that situation where he is the one being poked down and he doesn't care of what others might think about him. I think that what matters to him is how he will show his love for his mother although its not on his side anymore to defend him. Time has come and we were about to leave and I still saw him there while eating some few biscuits with water on the side all alone in front of his mom's grave while doing a slight chat on that stone with the cross. Others might assume that he is crazy and insane. But for me... it was a moving moment which his love for that special person six feet under the ground prevails and appears on his aura. I don't want to get sentimental, but the scene for me was heartfelt. And so the story goes...
Just by observing around when you visit the cemetery specifically here in the Philippines... which is quite shameful and unfortunate to admit, some bring liquors and getting drunk with their peers and creating trouble at the end, others bring playing cards and gamble, some makes loud noises and doing some soundtrip which is not in the right place, others are doing "public display of affection" specifically the lovers wherein it should be done in some place private and outside the territory of the dead, some bring guns and sharp weapons even it's not necessary while having a short temper which later might result into trouble. What I am trying to say is that there's a proper place and occasion in any action we're going to do and we should be responsible for our own actions. RESPECT for the dead is the keyword here and there will surely be a "Rise of the Dead" if it's possible when we never learn which is right and wrong! It's a sincere prayer for their souls... that's what they need.
Belated meaningful Halloween to all.

SHUT DOWN! written by: Sukito

Like any other computers after being overused... they automatically shut down!

There were times in my life... in our lives that after a busy day, tiring job, stressful situations, heartaches and pain... we felt like we wanted to escape and go somewhere else alone where no one would know and disturb us. A place where we can just think things over. Where we can breathe freely and reflect on what have happened or what have we gone through the whole day! Especially when we are suffocated with many problems and wanted to forget it even for a while. I am not trying to be sentimental but I know that all of us have experienced this and all of us wanted to have a break sometimes for whatever we bear in mind. Like a "stop over" in any long travel!
If you're gonna ask my personal experience about this matter, all I can recall was that I have been through this event many times. Thinking about it, I am hoping that it wouldn't mean or give you a notion that I am living a stressful life. But really, as far as I can remember... whenever I am having this kind of dilemma... I can hardly get some sleep! Feels like you're wide awake the whole time! You've been lying in in your bed for a minute... then hours... 'til morning comes and you are still up with your eyebags unconcealed. Seems like you are a drug addict, but you're really not. It's a mixed emotion of boredom, tiredness, stress, sadness and numbness. Then, the more you dwell in it... you'll definitely fall into depression. And it will be much tougher to cope up when you are drowned in it. No matter how hard you try to divert your attention into something else, counting thousands of sheeps in your head, whether doing your favorite hobbies, or just making yourself busy... though it works sometimes if you're lucky enough. Your mind is blank and it gives you nothing but headache when you try to think harder and forget it.. Then, that's the time when you can say that your mind and body is voluntarily shutting down for some reason you can't clearly understand. I think my body and mind is trying to tell me to chill down, relax, take a break and recharge for the next day. Brace myself for what tomorrow might bring. While making it a point in my mind that God wouldn't give us anything we can't handle just to keep away the fear that awaits. Then you retire and sleep...

MY FOUR WIVES written by: Sukito

All of us has our own priorities in life. Sometimes our whole lives revolves around these things... these people. In my case, my whole world only revolves around my four wives every time and everyday. But not really on my fourth wife...
I wouldn't tell my name as well as my wives because I think that it wasn't that of much importance. All I want to share and for you to think about is my story and to all those who will read this. Maybe we are the same. Maybe we are in the same situation right now. Maybe you are currently doing what I'm doing. Maybe you are already committing the same mistake that I have done... or you are just unaware of it. Just a simple tip for you before it's not yet too late. Usually, regret always comes in the end. I just don't want you to end up on what I have been through.
I am a simple guy who have four wives. I cannot live without the four of them because I need them in my life. All of them plays an important role for me... for my whole being. Only that, I should say and admit that I am not giving equal attention to each of them. Different levels per se'. I have my personal favorites and the not so minded.
My first wife is my favorite. I am giving her all my luxuries. She's quite materialistic. From dresses, shoes, accessories, jewelries, and all the extravagance from head to foot... I'm giving it all! Even the food that's not healthy to eat as long as she wants it... I'm making her taste it!
I value my second wife. I love her coz I need her. I do admit that I really couldn't live without her and I will starve to death for she provides me anything I need. Sometimes even the needs of my first and third wife will surely be coming out from her pocket. It's really hard to survive nowadays without any allowance. That is why I cannot leave my second wife.
I love my third wife. She is my source of inspiration and moral support. She's my usual company and the one that stands with me in all my troubles in life and whenever I have a problem. When I need someone to talk to in times of sorrow and happiness. Because of her that is why I am earning hard for a living. I can't really leave her side unless the situation will force me to do so.
I also need my fourth wife. It's fine with me that she stays because I know that she wouldn't leave me. Eventhough I do not pay that much importance on her. From the time I wake up until I fall to sleep, she's always there and never keeps me off her sight. Whenever I'm alone and have problems, she's just there... listening. And you wouldn't hear a word from her. She's a good listener and maybe that's why I need her in my life. Still, I don't mind her that much despite her loyalty on me. Most of the time, I am not providing her needs... like food maybe.
Until one day, I was diagnosed with a malignant disease. My doctor said that I will only live for three months and it will be all over. There's no cure for my illness. My world shattered and I can't accept that fact especially if I will deal it all by myself. Because of what happened to me I felt that I needed some company who will stand by me all the way through. So, I asked my each of my four wives this only one question, "If something really worst will happen to me and I will be gone... would you stay with me all the way until the very end?".
My first wife answered, "I can't be with you 'til the end because I will be useless without you and I will be nothing.
My second wife answered, "I can't be with you until the end because I'd rather be in the hands of another and let them use me and benefit me than to go down with you in your destination.
My third wife answered, I just can't be with you to the very end... though how much I would have wanted to. I can support you, cry for you, or even grieve for you. But I can't go along with you to wherever you are heading.
I am already losing hope to ask my fourth wife. Yet, she knows my suffering... so I earned enough strength to ask her. My fourth wife answered me right away and without any hesitation, "I will be with you on your journey all the way until the very end".
My first wife is my "human body". It will be lifeless when I'm gone and it can't bring down to the grave all the luxuries and extravagances it got when I'm still alive.
My second wife is my "money". It will be left behind to my loved ones and will have no more use on me when I'm gone.
My third wife are my "family and friends". They can be with me when I'm still around and take care of me in times of sickness. However, they can do nothing but mourn for me when 'm dead.
My fourth wife is my "soul"... who will be with me to the very end even on the other side.
How about you? When was the last time you've been to church, had your communion, or even prayed? When was the last time you put an importance on your fourth wife... on your soul?


(This story was inspired by Fr. Larry Paz of Holy Family Parish of Marikina from his homily last June 26, 2011 on the "The Feast Of Corpus Christi". Translated into writing by yours truly, Sukito, on a manner of "first-person point of view" based on my own version of understanding on the story. I am hoping that you've reflected on this story in connection to your life and that you've learned something from it. I will be more glad if you will share this in credit to this blog and to the persons responsible for giving a body to this story. Thank you for reading.)

You can also read this on its Filipino version that I have translated on the link below...
http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2011/07/11/ang-apat-kong-asawa/.

THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE SAFETY GLASS written by: Sukito

It was a Sunday morning mass, can't remember the exact date, when a priest said in his homily in Tagalog that it's better to get angry with a person with hate words than totally not minding and noticing the person at all... for you are already considering him/her as dead and doesn't exist anymore. That's the sentence that struck me and made me feel guilty about myself especially when it comes to my relationship with my father. Suddenly, the lady sitting in front of me cried and collapsed afterwards in her seat as she was pulled out of the church by her company. I thought then that she's more guilty as charged than I do. Anyway, here's how my story goes, though I'm a little hesitant to share this and quite embarrassed for saying my own flaws. Yet, I've decided to impart it because someone might learn from it and heal their broken relationships in some way or the other.

I am the so-called "black sheep" of our family before. My father and I have this "cold war" going on between the two of us for ten years... and the whole family knows that. Before, my father always disapproves everything I do, my decisions, the people I'm with and anything about me under the sun. For that reason, I became quite rebellious somehow although I don't show it to my mother to protect her from getting stressed out because of me. My father can't show any affection on me that time and the only time we talk was when we argue and fight... I mean big fights. I should say then that he is an "absentee father"... meaning he is physically there but the presence of being a dad is absent. He's not into showing affection maybe because of the "machismo" culture that the Filipinos have. To be fair with him, he's good with my siblings and to my mom as well. Yet, I failed him in some of his expectations on me. Being visible of myself in his eyes ruins his day every time he woke up and crosses my path. Actually, behind my anger for him that time are sadness and longing for a father's attention. I've asked myself many times... Am I never gonna be good enough for him? Are we always going to treat each other this way? Time came that I've gone tired of arguing with him over and over again everyday. I've decided to totally distance myself from him and avoid him as much as possible. I assumed that he is hopeless of being good to me and changing his treatment towards me. So. I'd better pretend that I don't see him. The gap widens and it goes on for years. As much as I feel sorry for the whole family was affected by our cold war, I can't do anything. For I am the one who's only trying to adjust and change and on the other hand I don't see any change from my father. All I wanted from him is for him to try to win me back and make me feel that I am his son too. And that I exist not as disgrace in his eyes but a boy who's longing for a father's love. It sounds cheesy like in the movies but I realize that it's true in real life too. The "not minding each other" technique lowers the tension between the two of us. But, it did not solve any problem and it didn't heal any pain.

Years passed and my rebellious days are over when I've attended this mass where I've heard that striking line. Until that day, my father and I were still not in good terms and not talking to each other anymore. That moment, I've prayed to God to take over and take control of the broken relationship that my father and I have had coz I don't know how to start apologizing or doing the first move and if how will he respond to it.

The day after, my mother wanted our toilet to be tiled up. She asked someone to do the tiling. Unfortunately, it was wrongly done and was misplaced. So, my mom asked me to dismantle it and remove the misplaced tiles. While removing the tiles, I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and there's a hand offering a protective eye gear and asking me to wear it to cover my eyes against the little broken tile pieces in the air. When I looked back... it's my father. The world seemed it stopped that moment and I'm speechless while feeling a little awkward of the situation. I just accepted the safety glass and wore it and said my thanks. Hearing his voice again in a calm mode sounds music to my ears. There's no dialogues, flashbacks, apologies and tear-jerking moments that took place between the two of us. I think we've read each other's mind that we forgive each other and it's understandable. I felt of being unloaded with a big burden and I feel light.

Up to this day, my father and I are in good terms of bonding and our relationship are getting stronger each day. And I bet that my mom and the whole family are rejoicing for that. God really works in different ways and sometimes in the most unexpected way you can never imagine. Until now, I still quite wonder if why did we waste of living our lives in misunderstanding and hatred for a decade and it was just solved in a snap with a simple tap and because of one safety glass. Quite funny and a miracle to me of how a simple act can make a big change in your life.

On the other hand, I don't regret of having those not so good experiences in my life before. Because it taught me the best lessons and left me nothing but wisdom for myself to benefit later on with it and share this slice of my life with others. I can say now that I'm free from any anger and longing issues right now.

To all the fathers out there, literally or in any way, and to my father that I lost his presence with for many years and presently reconciled with... HAPPY FATHER's DAY!

LOVE WHO? written by: Sukito

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love". - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

They say that love should start from within. For you can never love others if you do not know how to love yourself first. But in some cases, there are those who can fully love others and revolve their world around that person without loving and forgetting themselves. Love comes in many forms. It may be for our family, parents, siblings, friends, special someones, partners in life, children, pet, things that we treasure most and God. Sometimes we tend to cross the line from what is good or bad, moral or not, right or wrong... when it comes to love. Our minds know if what's the right thing to do in such situation that we are in sometimes. But when the heart gets in the way, it influences a big change in those decisions we make. Wrong becomes right in our eyes. Blinding us somehow as we fight for someone special who has that space in our hearts. There were times when it is over yet we push through not knowing that we are hurting some people around us or that person we treasure most. Love in some way makes it hard for us to let go of someone in our arms, in our lives... for it is more painful when we willingly invested our emotions on someone. Sometimes love teaches us to let go if its not really meant to be. It's tough but made easy for we wanted the person to be free and happy as we try to move on with our own. When we know how to love, it seems that we can do everything. Everyday is happy and in good mode like no one else can annoy you or can ruin your day. It inspires us to build dreams and have new hope. Eventhough, love as an inspiration when overly done may turn into desperation and possessive and hopefully not destructive. Suffering when done out of love is genuine sacrifice and divine that doesn't wait for anything in return. While suffering against our will is punishment and curse itself.

In this world we live in... we love and we wanted to be loved. It makes us sad to be rejected and not to be loved back by the people we value. We're in search to find that someone whom we can love and serve and who can love and serve us back. Intellect can enable us on how to live but love on its part fuels us to move on and face what life has to offer as it provides us wisdom. It's nice to imagine that out of love... our world can be a better place to dwell in.

How about you... who loves you?

photo courtesy of: Amie's On-line Diary

LOOKS ARE DECEIVING written by: Sukito

Recently, I've had this unexpected experience in a drugstore. It was an ironic encounter and made me think somehow.

It was that day when my mom asked me to buy an eye drop for her. My mom gave me seventy pesos (Php 70.00) to be exact assuming that it's more than enough for the price of an eye drop for the red eyes. Later, I was in the drugstore and I already got what I needed. So, I started to fall in line. I noticed the man ahead of me in the line towards the counter. He's a skinny, dark and old man with three kids holding on his hand. I assumed that those are his children and they pretty looked like that they haven't taken a bath for days. No offense meant for them and I don't mean to be rude but that's how I can easily describe them based on the way they appearred to me. I can't deny to myself that I felt a little pity on them, to the man and to the kids. And so the story goes...

When it was my turn to pay for the eye drop on the counter, the sales lady already punched the item in the cashier and said that the total cost of the item that I got was seventy five pesos (Php 75.00) in all. I was about to pull out my money in my pocket when I realized that I only have seventy pesos, no more... no less. Unfortunately, I didn't bring any extra money that time. So, I lacked out an amount of five pesos (Php 5.00). I'm quite confused and I told the sales lady that I have to get out first and get back home to provide the lacking five peso amount of the product that I bought... though I know that our home is quite far in the said drug store in terms of distance. Without further ado and explanation, the man that I just felt pity with got near me in the counter and paid the remaining five pesos. No other words came out of my mouth that time but "thank you". And the man just bowed down after I said my gratitude on him. Then, he left away immediately out of the drug store with his kids without any words at all.

I'm so focused of feeling pity for them and it turned out that I'm the one who's in need of help from him. I felt judgmental of myself towards them and that I perceived them in their external appearances without knowing what they are capable of doing. Maybe, it was only a little amount of five pesos and that simplest and humble gesture from him means a lot and impacted me so much. Looks are really deceiving sometimes and we shouldn't really judge the book by its cover. I suddenly remember what Alanis Morissette asked on her song, "isn't it ironic... don't you think?".

FOR THE RIGHT REASON written by: Sukito

In a tiring day as it ends. I was about to go to sleep when something just crosses my mind. It was a tiny reflection that keeps tingling my thought before dream creates its illusion on me. Should I keep on using reasons for things and changes that comes along my way?
Everything happens for a REASON! Even our own existence in this world has a reason... a purpose per se... designed uniquely for each individual. It inspires us for a while especially in those down times and when we are indisposed of something. It was indeed an invisible incognito that we've been searching in the journey of life. It was a good thing to possess such mentality and notion that in every bad occurrences in our lives lies a valid reason from God... a blessing in disguise as I can say.
We tend to think that for instance , a breakup with a loved one will provide some space to move on and to find someone better and whose really worth of our love. An academic failure might challenge us to strive more in our studies and put our best foot forward in everything we do. A financial crisis can teach us to become more resourceful in terms of livelihood or to make us eager in doing our jobs well as a competitive worker and a productive citizen to our country. A domestic problem requires more quality time within the family as it will provide us time to know more of ourselves and those among of our family members as well. An accident, job termination, or even loss of a loved one and all those shortcomings that changes our lives upside down entails of more self-examination... a reality check-up... a test that we should pass and overcome as these will teach us to conquer our fears. So that, the next time something bad happens, we know what to do and how to deal with it.
On the contrary, we should stop using "reasons" more often as these will turn us as a constant failure in life. This attitude may make us lazy, kill the adrenaline rush that flows in our veins for us to become incompetent... chaining us for a lifetime boredom and immaturity. A prisoner of time itself.
Making an excuse all the time has its limitations too. Overusing of reasons has its end as well. It's like a medicine that when taken beyond its expiration date might result into poisoning... killing our body's system. Reasons should be used for the right reason itself. For us to move on and to be in the right path of destiny. To give hope to others and to give chance to ourselves.
Actually, a life with no reason is no life at all. Go on and live with a purpose and with a mission and never get stagnant. Maybe this is what the abstract of reasoning is all about. So be it.

A BIRTHDAY DATE WITH GOD written by: Sukito

What really makes one person happy?
This question always pops up in my mind whenever my birthday comes. I do not know if what should I expect out of myself and from the people around me. When I was a kid, my birthday was one of the awaited day to celebrate. Of course, lots of gifts and treats that brings some sense of excitement and surprise. Later on, I've figured out that as people grow... things change and we're starting to have different and bigger expectations in life. It's true then that nothing's permanent in this world except for change itself. I value toys and other material stuff before when I was seven and it made me contented somehow. Unlike today, I am more happy... maybe of some material things but big ones like real cars, gadgets or house and lot. Still, I assume that I am looking for a different kind of satisfaction which will last for long and which will bring me a genuine kind of gratitude and joy. Maybe, those which cannot be bought by money alone. Yet, I don't want to be a hypocrite because I know that money plays a big part in our everyday living especially nowadays and in times of crisis. Although, I have a different perspective in life right now. I want a life with sense and meaning which can show my worth to myself and to all those people I love.
Presently, I am still speechless and doesn't have a definite answer if I am asked of being happy or what have I done useful lately. Figures will be added in our age each time our natal days were remembered and celebrated. But, are we worth of that number? Am I accomplished enough though I have gone quite far in terms of experience? Have I learned something where myself can benefit for the better? Well, I do not know exactly. One thing I know is that I'm partly happy and will be filled up with contentment when I reach my goals. I want to live a life not only for me but most of all for my family. I wanted to be the one who will accomplish my parents' dreams of living a comfortable life. It includes securing my future as well. As it is said, "earn while you were young, spend when you are old". I wanted to be the conqueror of my own dreams without being dictated by the norms of society and what some say as right and wrong. Eventhough, time revolves around me and leaving me a feeling of being trapped in the pit. Anyway, I am grateful that I can celebrate my birthday in good health regardless of all those trials and difficulties I've been through. That what really matters. It made me a whole person and growing stronger to face another chapter.
For now, I am celebrating my birthday differently. Skipping family treats in fine dine in or in "dampa", hanging out with friends with "inuman" sessions... yet I don't drink alcohol. I think I'll just pray. Some might find it boring but it's mind-refreshing and can rejuvenate your faith. Prayer is the strength of man in times of turmoil and God's weakness for He has no choice but to listen and answer that prayer. Today, I heard a mass and just had my birthday date with God.
God bless...

THE BLACK RAIN written by: Sukito

A “black rain” introduced itself on me when it rained out that night. Awakening thoughts of elegant isolation and disturbing silence where it dwells with the forsaken.

“Black rain” symbolizes sadness yet bears a heart for the broken. A heaven’s cry as the moon and the stars hides and mourns for the sanctuary’s rebellious night. Those are like teardrops falling from above and will make you wonder whose eyes have shed it. Teardrops that gives life as the friendly earth absorbs its loneliness. Loneliness that extends the living and resurrects the cycle of life and death.

It is a sanctifier that cleanse my mind and consoles my soul as it tickles every inch of my body. The solidarity of each raindrops removes the solitude in me and adds up a pinch of sensuality. The cluttering sound it makes in the rooftop is like a lullaby that brings comfort then puts me into sleep. And in there, everything is in a relaxing mode with all its calmness where good things are possible and bad things are reversible. A graceful exit to recharge for the next day…

The “black rain” may mean sadness. But… it will teach us to appreciate more of what happiness in life really means!

PEOPLE POWER!!! NO MORE POWER??? written by: Sukito

I was heading south today. ‘Di ko matagalan ang pila sa MRT dahil ang haba, rush hour na kasi. So, I took the bus. As ususal, walang kamatayan pa rin ang trapik sa EDSA… kahit wala namang People Power. Habang nakasakay sa bus… may naalala lang ako!

It was Wednesday, February 25, 2009… when we celebrated the 23rd anniversary of the “People Power Revolution” also known as “EDSA 1″. EDSA, short for “Epifanio Delos Santos Avenue” (just in case you don’t know) contributed a big change in Philippine history. Kahit maraming tao ang nababagot sa trapik tuwing dadaan dito, itinadhana pa rin ito para sa isang napakahalagang pangyayari sa ating kasaysayan… na nagbuwis ng napakaraming dugo, pawis, at gasolina na rin.

Anyway, I was hesitant to say this and no offense meant. But it was even told in the news na nilangaw ang celebration ng EDSA 1 ngayon. It might be painful to the ears of those people who have shed their tears and hopes and even their lives wayback when the original People Power took place. Based on what I’ve heard and read that the 1986 revolution or what others call as the “Yellow Revolution” which surprised the whole world and boasted our country’s dignity was a series of nonviolent rallies compared to other versions that followed and the most prayerful where mass were being heard over street demonstrations. I can also feel the patriotism of that event whenever some elders whom I was talking to narrates me their own experiences and their involvement in the said revolution. It was indeed with such deep emotion. I just feel for them and I can’t really tell coz I wasn’t aware yet of what was happening during that time.

Presently, it was not a big crowd that attended the said celebration. How will it be? Like what Bayani Fernando have also cited. If EDSA itself where it will be commemorated were closed and blocked by metal fences guarded by the policemen… who will dare to get in? How will it also be possible? If our President GMA who were expected to be visible didn’t show up and instead chose to attend the job fair in POEA just nearby. Even former President Corazon Aquino favored to attend in some important event in La Salle rather than the moment that once placed her in power and maybe also due to some health reasons regarding her cancer recovery and medications. Actually, I can’t blame them, it’s their life and they have their own reasons. May it be personal, political or just simply a conflict in their schedule of events. Only that, how would you expect others to relive the moment of the genuine EDSA if those important identities who should be present in the said event weren’t there. I was just asking myself if the People Power Revolution was starting to lose its charisma? Will its spirit will just remain a spirit until it rest in peace and be totally forgotten? Maybe, the next generation wouldn’t be aware anymore on its value unless they read their textbooks!

Moreover, even how many “Garci tapes” had been revealed, or how many fertilizer fund scams and ZTE Broadband deals had been exposed, or even how many Lozada whistleblowing statements will be done, and even how many “I Am Sorry” dialogue will be said in public. The EDSA People Power will definitely be swallowed by corruption if there will be no change to be done. Not by means of changing our form of government or “Cha Cha” or by updating our election/voting system into a computerized manner. But… by changing or killing the growing bad habits of running or controlling our government which is getting to be a normal scene in our political arena nowadays… and spells the downfall of our country as well as the sufferings of the Filipino. There should be a personal motivation in those fortunate elected or appointed public officials… NOT to be dominated by money, greed and positions. Hopefully, may the power of the EDSA Revolution will not only be used in pulling down to its reign whoever’s in power. But, may its force be used for the common good and of shaping our country’s future!

As it was quoted, what President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo said recently, “The world embraced EDSA 1… and tolerated EDSA 2… but, the world will not forgive EDSA 3. Instead, condemn our country whose political system is unstable…” and so it goes.

‘Yan ang EDSA People Power! Parang ”Lord of the Rings”… may part 1, part 2 at part 3. Sana ‘wag naman parang “Shake, Rattle and Roll”… na hanggang part 10. And at the end, everything will just be wasted!?

THE CURIOUS CASE OF VALENTINE MADNESS written by: Sukito

It was last year of the same day! I woke up that one cold morning preoccupied with lots of things going on in my mind. Whenever I open my eyes, my glass window will be the first one to greet me “good morning”, and beside it is a huge calendar with a nude sexy star. Then, I saw the date with an “X” mark. And it was February 14. It was another Valentines day! So what’s new? It will be just another regular day that have had revolved in routines. I cleaned up and then turned on the television.
In the news, people were so busy buying flowers, chocolates and some lovey dovey stuff. I changed the channel, and there’s some news again reporting the promo rate of other hotels and motels and even inns this season including commercializing places or sweet getaways where you can take your date with a budget saving discount. Some were cheap but nice. Some were expensive yet formal. Actually, may it be a fine dine-in or a simple restaurant, or maybe in the street eating “isaw” and doing HHWW (Holding Hands While Walking), just in case you don’t know… a date will always be a date. It’s the moment that you’ve shared with each other that really counts.
If you want another gimmick for your loved ones, you can take her/him in any Valentine concert of your choice. There’s plenty of soundtripping choices during the love month. First and foremost, there’s the undying concert of David Pomeranz every Valentine while he sings “Got to Believe” and “Born For You” every year over and over again. There’s also some reunion concert of Martin and Pops (and breaking apart again after the show), local divas and balladeers (even those of the long time ago) and pop icons who had won in any talent/singing reality show, even some classic foreign love singers will come here just to have their musical event without you knowing that they were still alive until now and can sing in front of you and will make you believe that they exist in full color. But personally, I would rather go on with a date in a “rock concert”, may it be local or foreign… just to enjoy the whole day with an adrenaline rush. If some guys out there, think that it was a “noise” and wants a more solemn moment. Sit back with your date in a couch at home ’til “Dr. Love” hit the airwaves in DZMM after dinner. And its up to you if what’s gonna happen next…
Anyways, I’ve got up and gone out of the house. God! I was quite surprised and awed by the situation outside. It was like a “Panagbenga Festival” in Baguio. And I almost forgot that I’am not in Baguio. There’s flowers everywhere in the market. With candies and chocolates in heart-shaped appearance! Not to forget the dying industry of Valentine cards. Panicking folks were all over my sight going back and forth and buying those love stuffs. I just can’t imagine if what’s with them and they have to do it in full effort that day! What’s the big deal with the 14th day of February? Can’t they give flowers and share their love everyday or in anyday for the rest of the year? Why do most lovers wants to attend “Lova Palooza” and show the world how they kissed each other with great passion in the big screen though some were just obviously faking it and only wants publicity or to be seen in television. Well, It’s not bad after all to be a part of such world record and boast up to your friends and family saying, “Hey… I’m one of those guys in the news who kissed in public during that celebrated event!”. How was that!?
For a moment, I figured out that I was overpowered by the sense of practicality and of spending money wisely during crisis. I felt like I was the “Valentine Grinch” at that time… the one who hates “Heart’s Day”. And that I’ve thought of quite mean things against love… yet I got a slight point. Exciting and sweet emotions have been swimming beneath the surface for a busy year of work and studies. And today, February 14, is its time to emerge!!!
Suddenly, I have realized that I’ve bought a bunch of red roses too with dark chocolate to match up my sweetness for my girl. And I almost forgot that I am also compromised to meet someone in that “Lova Palooza” day! God! I’m a victim of ” Valentine Madness” too… I’m such a loser… LOL.

FIVE CRAZY THINGS TO DO WITHIN FIVE DAYS written by: Sukito

     Tired of living in your daily routines? Want something new or try something different? Well, do these crazy tips for fun and for gaining quite odd experiences that you can share if you want. Dare yourself!

Day 1: Eat All You Can

Satisfy your cravings. Eat all the food you want as long as you can and as long as you can afford. Do this regardless of your allergies and hypertension. Just don't overeat or you might end up killing yourself. Always have your medicine with you just in case. Tasting will do if you have this bad condition of the food that you've been dying for to eat. Skip your gym schedule for once and temporarily forget your "After Six" or "South Beach" diet. For an additional suggestion, dine in with your friends in an "Eat All You Can" restaurant. Once again, do not eat more than the capacity of your tummy because this activity is highly prone for constipation and LBM.

Day 2: Sleep All Day

Have you heard of the song "Sleep All Day" by Jason Mraz? This one is a recharging thing to do. Don't set your alarm clock. Turn off your cellphone. Then, cancel all your appointments within that day. Not applicable for students during weekdays but highly recommended for the workaholics. For girls, pretend that you are "Sleeping Beauty" and for guys, assume that you are the male version of the said fairy tale. If you can't really fall asleep after counting thousands of sheeps in your head… skip this step and proceed to the next one. I am not suggesting the use of sleeping pills coz it will make your sleep artificial. All you have to do is sleep more than your hours of sleep or if you can… do it the whole day. However, don't oversleep or you might end up sleeping for a lifetime.

Day 3: Shout Out!!!

This craziness is 95% guarantee of feeling good afterwards and 5% guarantee of losing your voice. All you have to do is go to the highest place where you can possibly be. It may be on the top of the building, a mountain peak or if there's no other choice… your rooftop will do. I don't suggest climbing up in the billboard because other people might think that you're nuts or insane not unless you want to be in the news as a freak. Anyway, wherever that highest altitude you are standing… all you have to do is to shout out loud to the very top of your lungs with all your anguish in the world. It sounds cheesy, but it works! Just make sure no one hears or recognizes you when you do this. Moreover, this stuff has the capability of taking away your burden in some point and will make you feel light about yourself. I think, this is way much better and challenging than making your friendster or facebook shoutout.

Day 4: Say Cheese :)

Staple the best smile you got on your face. Keep on smiling and "say cheese" to any people who cross your path. I know that it sounds weird or will make you look ridiculous especially smiling with no reason at all or in front of a total stranger. However, doing this can guarantee you 70% of friendship in return and 30% of meeting your soulmate… who knows?! In fact, smile is the cheapest… yet the best gift anyone can give. Side effects of having a lockjaw might happen if done with exaggeration. But, make sure you brush your teeth before flashing out your smile.

Day 5: Be Wacky!

Upload your wackiest video ever on "You Tube" or in any video hosting site of your choice. Make a crazy move, act or stunt and show to anyone that you can be funny too! Then, see if how many views your video can get after uploading it. Others might think you are insane while others might appreciate your sense of humor and find it cool. Doing this may open a window of an opportunity for you of being discovered as a comedian or an actor especially if you got the x factor. You can also earn fans or much better, friendship from your viewers. If you cannot afford or have an access of making a video… a wacky photo of yourself will do. Moreover, taking a wacky video or picture with your loved ones or with your family is way much better. Remember, "the more… the merrier!". Aside from the famous line that "laughter is the best medicine", I can say that laughter is a good virus… for it is contagious in a good way. The outbreak it brings, makes the infected place happier and free of worries. It's a good feeling to make someone laugh and happy just by being wacky. Warning!... uploading a wacky video is highly addictive.

     To sum it up, this article as a whole doesn't intend to make you look stupid by doing these crazy things. It's up to you if you want to give it a shot. But, these tips will be helpful somehow specifically for those stressful ones. It's about freeing yourself from a busy life once in a while and going out of your shell that bores you. You can be adventurous even in trying out on simple things. I am hoping that these so-called five crazy things will teach us how to feel light-hearted in dealing with the trials and challenges our life has to offer. Unleash again the child and the funny side in us without getting binded by what the social norms and the rules of morality dictates, without being pressured by what some folks tells us if what's the right thing to do. It's all about our own choices and free will that will enable us to live beyond the normal things we can do and in a limited world that stops us from discovering more of ourselves. As Kris Allen of American Idol says in his single, "Live Like We're Dying". Pretend that this is your last day on earth. Life is short, but will be perceived as long-lived if it goes with a purpose of exploring beyond our limitation. Take things easy and be cool.:) 

Photo by: Sukito San