ACCEPTANCE and HEALING

     With ACCEPTANCE, comes HEALING.

     In any problems that we are facing in our lives, we always seek for solution. Sometimes, we take a detour in "bargaining" false hopes. Much worst, when we take a break and get stocked with "denial". May it be a family or domestic problem, a breakup in love, a relationship falling apart, a terminal illness or health threat, a financial crisis, and even a problem within yourself. All these troubles that we are going through should be dealt and be analyzed carefully by you initially... for you to come up with a good solution. Divine help through prayers to provide you fair wisdom in dealing with such downfall and moral support from your family and friends or from someone you really trust is a big help in guiding you which direction to take under confusing moments and stressful situations. Hopelessness, despair, and sadness... are normal feelings that may visit us in our darkest hours. But, NEVER make yourself and your mind dwell too much on it. RUN AWAY from it as fast as you can for this may lead you to depression and lure you into committing suicide afterwards. Keep calm for a while and think as you go to the nearest possible solution for your shortcomings. The way to do it is to recognize your problems and never turn it into a monster that will creep you under your bed when you go to sleep. Most of all, resort to "acceptance" as much as possible. Unload your life's burden by accepting it wholeheartedly and turning that acceptance as your permanent solution. Then... "healing" to oneself will surely follow. 

     Smile! Just hold still and be strong. All things shall pass... even problems too :)  

Photo by: Sukito San

CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM

     Always think that you are worthful... and never give an inch to anyone who will pull you down.

     I've always been the thin and skinny boy in school. So, when I'm capable enough to make myself look better, I grab the chance of doing so. You have to make a way if you really want to attain something. Since, I can't afford to go to gym that time. I used to borrow barbells to anyone I know who already has it. I started doing sit ups and push ups regularly. And it paid off after a year and a half of doing it religiously. "No pain, no gain", as the saying goes. My self confidence and self-esteem starts to improve and boost up because I like what I see when I look in the mirror. It's like the new and better version of myself. And if you feel good about yourself, positive auras and good vibes tends to radiate out of you and people around you will surely notice that. It's not bad to look good that you wanted yourself to become as long as you don't overdo and exaggerate things. Also, it feels good to inspire someone to make themselves better as well because you're a living proof to it.

     All of us are beautiful in our own unique way. Love what you have and enhance what you got.

Photo by: Sukito San

MOMENTS and MEMORIES

     Life is a collection of moments as time turns it into memories.

     It's hard for us to remember the exact dates of our life events... because it's the moment that we truly remember.  Moments are compiled by the heart while the brain filters it and then archive it as memories. 

Shared moments with a loved one... will always be remembered by the heart even the mind begins to forget as it gets old with time. On this sense, moments taught me to treasure them as I enjoy their company... while imprinted memories in my head made me value it even more. It made me realize to never be ashamed or be afraid of showing how I love my family and friends while they're still here with me. Happy and unexpected moments are the ones that can wow us in the future when we suddenly think about it while leaving a slight glowing smile on our faces.

     Create priceless moments because they are the ones that give everlasting memories :)

Photo by: Sukito San

HOBBY and THERAPY

     Do what you love doing most and it will lead you to the right path!

     There were times when I'm down and tired from work and school and just wanted to divert myself and my mind away from the busy world. Doing my hobby which reminds me how to be focus on one thing while being productive and creative at the same time is my own dose of therapy against stress. In my case, I'll always end up with my first love... and that's drawing. Currently, I don't only sketch or draw on paper. But on a much bigger canvas and that's our "wall". Anyway, whatever you're hobby and passion is... just go for it. You'll never go wrong for it will always be worth of spending time with.

     By the way, the picture on this post with the bamboo wall mural is a sample of my humble masterpiece :)

Photo by: Sukito San

SUICIDE... A CRY FOR HELP! written by: Sukito

"People don't die from suicide... they die from sadness".
A normal boy who always smile later found dead in his room, shot himself while leaving a suicide note beside him. A happy and friendly girl, overdosed herself with pills... killing herself after a break up with her boyfriend and she is pregnant. A responsible parent poisoning his/her children and killed himself/herself afterwards because of poverty and financial crisis. A life... wasted because of depression... because of suicide... because of the insensitivity of the people around them.
Suicide is intentionally hurting or killing yourself and ending your life believing that you are hopeless and in deep sorrow. A state of mind in dilemma and great confusion. It is human's way of saying, "I quit". Those who commit suicide has this not in the right path and unreliable mindset... thinking that ending one's life will end up their problems as well, which for me is false and a selfish act. False, because there's always a solution in any problem (though sounds cheesy), only if the one who is burdened will have a strong hold on his/her faith in whatever religion. A selfish act because the person who commits suicide only thinks of himself and how will he be out of the trouble without considering the burden of those he or she will leave after his death. I do not condemn those who have committed suicide, dead or alive, but the act and the thought of it. I'm not trying to be preachy and I don't hold judging opinions about this matter because I've been down there and I know how it feels when you are in a situation where darkness is blacker than black... and you are feeling alone... seeing no one and hearing no one while searching for even the little possible light you can vaguely see. Definitely, people who commit suicide are the persons who's in need for moral, emotional, and professional support and suicide is just their desperate way of crying for help. People who can't even understand themselves on how the way they think, act and feel in any bad circumstances they are into.
I remember one time when I've accidentally turned the channel in one show and they're topic was "depression". In the show, Oprah Winfrey said something about that "depression ' is like getting trapped underneath the building after the earthquake while hearing the rescuers say, "no one's down there anymore, let's go and leave", and they can't hear you no matter how hard you shout and call for help where no single voice is coming out of your mouth as you hear the rescuers' voices fade away.
When you try to balance and ponder the situation, it's not really "suicide" that kills but 'depression". Depression simply means a very deep sorrow and anxiety and emptiness that one feels. Much worst if you have it for a longer period of time within you. So, better never nurture it... in your mind and in your heart. It's a silent disease... like a soul-eating termite that bites each pieces of your character in pain. Until you come to realize that all your hope is gone and you are just a vulnerable dust that will be taken by the deadly wind when it blows and whisper into your head... saying, "hey, you're game is over... quit now!". To make it short, the more you think of your sadness... the more you will dwell in it. And the more you dwell in it, the more likely you will commit suicide. And I can testify that it's true. So, before your sorrow eats you up, divert your attention into something and anything else. Run away from it and do not dare it because it's like a virus that will ruin your system like in computers. It will kill your inspiration, happiness, confidence and self-worth. It will chase you down and haunt you in your bed and lonesome time even in your attempt to escape from it. That is why many of those who have it can't sleep for days or having an irregular sleeping patterns because of overthinking of many negative thoughts, events and outcomes. Some resort to heavy drinking or sleeping pills just to get some sleep. Others resort to eating a lot of junks and sweets with their eyes wide awake 'til gloominess shadows them.
On the other hand, others deal with depression and commit suicide because of old traditions like the "harakiri" in Japan and I do not exactly remember the name but that one tribe here in the Philippines featured in the show, "Che Che Lazaro Presents: Suicide", which any member of them even at the younger age openly commit suicide as their sign of bravery wherein in a civilized world of character measurement, it is a sign of weakness of easily giving up.
Some situation indicates that it runs in their family, in the genes. You can observe this when in one clan or family, all the deaths of their relatives or family members are because of suicide. Quite unbelievable but true in some cases. Scientifically, they call it as bipolar disorder or bipolar depression. They say that its a chemical imbalance which requires professional treatment.

Currently, more teenagers today are impulsive especially in family relationship and love issues which when turned into frustrations results in immediate suicide. Others are because of an "emo" lifestyle which even they don't really kill themselves yet manifest suicidal tendencies on their personality which later turns into their necessity and habit which makes it hard for them not do it anymore because of blood lust satisfying themselves of pain such as being a "cutter" or the one who cuts his/her wrist usually and making it a part of their normal living especially when they are being hurt and rejected.
Moreover, emotionally... traditionally... a lifestyle trend... or scientifically, suicidal tendencies are caused and triggered by depression. Not because someone shows a smiling face doesn't mean he's happy. Sometimes persons with depression hides in a mask especially in front of anyone else. So, family members and friends should be vigilant of one's mood swings and behavior. Most especially if the person starts to withdraw himself from the rest of the crowd or from the world, always alone and doesn't have any drive to do something but to be left alone in his room. Making himself singled out from anyone else.
Of course, you can help... anyone of us who knows someone suffering from this condition can be a big help. You can talk to the person but be careful with your words and don't do prejudging his character and what he's presently going through. It's not just simply talking and put in mind that it's not a "question and answer portion". It needs timing. You can invite him or her to do some activities of his/her interest together with you. then you can do the simple talk within that moment. Share your own personal experience first or much better trust your secret with that person so you can earn his/her trust back... where he/she can easily open up to you. Better yet, if you don't know which word to use... just be a good listener. And it will be a big help even just an outlet for what they have been carrying all along inside them. It will give them relief somehow even you don't have the permanent solution to their problem. Also, try to make them understand that they should help themselves too by holding on to God or to their faith. Of course, for a worst condition and for a much safer aid, the person needs to accept that he needs help... especially professional help, with the combination of minimizing stress, and having a strong relationship with the people around him/her.
As for me personally, it's my faith in God that saves me at the end of the day. I'm not the religious type then... but it's really true. You need to be fierce and brave enough to face the problem. You have to accept it as a challenge and not as a trial that will bring you down. Try to see the opportunity in every difficulty. Adjust yourself to be more positive in life and you will invite a chain reaction of positive results. It's never too late and remember that there will always be an available help for you. Put up a good fight in life and NEVER QUIT!

TO BE SOMEBODY SOMEDAY written by: Sukito

Today, I have paid our water bill in our Barangay Hall's "Bayad Center". Outside the hall, a feeding program was being held and was organized by the social workers. As I took a glance of the street children sitting in front of the long table, they were very happy and excited while waiting for their free food. One volunteer entertains them and was explaining something as the kids patiently wait. A curious and hopeful thought stirred into my mind. I told myself that one day... one of those street kids will be somebody someday. One of them might be the future President of this country, a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, a soldier, a pilot, a manager, an engineer, an executive, or maybe a humble volunteer who will be the one to be feeding another poor child like what he or she have been through as a kid. I really have a deserving high respect for the feeding programs especially for the street children. I perceived it as an act of not only feeding a hungry tummy but also resurrecting the hopes and dreams of the young ones and shaping their personality in some point as well.
On the other hand, I can see myself in those kids. I didn't grew up in a rich family. I am proud of my father and my mother that despite the financial crisis we've dealt before... they still manage to provide us for our everyday food though not extravagant, send us over to school though not private, dressed us with comfortable clothes though not expensive, sheltered us under a simple house though not a mansion. I am a nobody in school during my elementary years. I'm the one who's unnoticed, a boy from behind who just watches those extrovert and active boys who proudly plays basketball in front of everyone else. I may not have a lot of friends or peers who can always join me for a company or just to hang-out with, but I can assure them that I'm a friend 'til the end when they have me as a pal. Growing up introvert and alone isn't really happy but challenging at the same time because you will be hungry to prove yourself for the better. It's alone in the top that's what they say, but you will discover your strength and conquer your weakness in return. Personally, being always hungry for opportunities and chances is better than to be contented with nothing and die without even trying. There's nothing wrong of giving your dreams a shot. And there's no mistake that will teach you a lesson without risking for what you definitely want to do in your life... what your heart desires! Just try not to be greedy and selfish. Climbing up without stepping and pulling anyone else down. My childhood experiences and the struggles that my family and I have had humbles me down and makes me appreciate life's blessings much sweeter after its bitterness. My dreams and what I wanted to do most is still on the process and I am on my journey to get out of the maze.
All of us has our own journey to travel, dreams to chase, and goals to accomplish. Dream big! It's for free. Act on it and you will surely harvest the fruit of your labor someday! It's never wrong to be somebody someday.

MY FOUR WIVES written by: Sukito

All of us has our own priorities in life. Sometimes our whole lives revolves around these things... these people. In my case, my whole world only revolves around my four wives every time and everyday. But not really on my fourth wife...
I wouldn't tell my name as well as my wives because I think that it wasn't that of much importance. All I want to share and for you to think about is my story and to all those who will read this. Maybe we are the same. Maybe we are in the same situation right now. Maybe you are currently doing what I'm doing. Maybe you are already committing the same mistake that I have done... or you are just unaware of it. Just a simple tip for you before it's not yet too late. Usually, regret always comes in the end. I just don't want you to end up on what I have been through.
I am a simple guy who have four wives. I cannot live without the four of them because I need them in my life. All of them plays an important role for me... for my whole being. Only that, I should say and admit that I am not giving equal attention to each of them. Different levels per se'. I have my personal favorites and the not so minded.
My first wife is my favorite. I am giving her all my luxuries. She's quite materialistic. From dresses, shoes, accessories, jewelries, and all the extravagance from head to foot... I'm giving it all! Even the food that's not healthy to eat as long as she wants it... I'm making her taste it!
I value my second wife. I love her coz I need her. I do admit that I really couldn't live without her and I will starve to death for she provides me anything I need. Sometimes even the needs of my first and third wife will surely be coming out from her pocket. It's really hard to survive nowadays without any allowance. That is why I cannot leave my second wife.
I love my third wife. She is my source of inspiration and moral support. She's my usual company and the one that stands with me in all my troubles in life and whenever I have a problem. When I need someone to talk to in times of sorrow and happiness. Because of her that is why I am earning hard for a living. I can't really leave her side unless the situation will force me to do so.
I also need my fourth wife. It's fine with me that she stays because I know that she wouldn't leave me. Eventhough I do not pay that much importance on her. From the time I wake up until I fall to sleep, she's always there and never keeps me off her sight. Whenever I'm alone and have problems, she's just there... listening. And you wouldn't hear a word from her. She's a good listener and maybe that's why I need her in my life. Still, I don't mind her that much despite her loyalty on me. Most of the time, I am not providing her needs... like food maybe.
Until one day, I was diagnosed with a malignant disease. My doctor said that I will only live for three months and it will be all over. There's no cure for my illness. My world shattered and I can't accept that fact especially if I will deal it all by myself. Because of what happened to me I felt that I needed some company who will stand by me all the way through. So, I asked my each of my four wives this only one question, "If something really worst will happen to me and I will be gone... would you stay with me all the way until the very end?".
My first wife answered, "I can't be with you 'til the end because I will be useless without you and I will be nothing.
My second wife answered, "I can't be with you until the end because I'd rather be in the hands of another and let them use me and benefit me than to go down with you in your destination.
My third wife answered, I just can't be with you to the very end... though how much I would have wanted to. I can support you, cry for you, or even grieve for you. But I can't go along with you to wherever you are heading.
I am already losing hope to ask my fourth wife. Yet, she knows my suffering... so I earned enough strength to ask her. My fourth wife answered me right away and without any hesitation, "I will be with you on your journey all the way until the very end".
My first wife is my "human body". It will be lifeless when I'm gone and it can't bring down to the grave all the luxuries and extravagances it got when I'm still alive.
My second wife is my "money". It will be left behind to my loved ones and will have no more use on me when I'm gone.
My third wife are my "family and friends". They can be with me when I'm still around and take care of me in times of sickness. However, they can do nothing but mourn for me when 'm dead.
My fourth wife is my "soul"... who will be with me to the very end even on the other side.
How about you? When was the last time you've been to church, had your communion, or even prayed? When was the last time you put an importance on your fourth wife... on your soul?


(This story was inspired by Fr. Larry Paz of Holy Family Parish of Marikina from his homily last June 26, 2011 on the "The Feast Of Corpus Christi". Translated into writing by yours truly, Sukito, on a manner of "first-person point of view" based on my own version of understanding on the story. I am hoping that you've reflected on this story in connection to your life and that you've learned something from it. I will be more glad if you will share this in credit to this blog and to the persons responsible for giving a body to this story. Thank you for reading.)

You can also read this on its Filipino version that I have translated on the link below...
http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2011/07/11/ang-apat-kong-asawa/.

THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE SAFETY GLASS written by: Sukito

It was a Sunday morning mass, can't remember the exact date, when a priest said in his homily in Tagalog that it's better to get angry with a person with hate words than totally not minding and noticing the person at all... for you are already considering him/her as dead and doesn't exist anymore. That's the sentence that struck me and made me feel guilty about myself especially when it comes to my relationship with my father. Suddenly, the lady sitting in front of me cried and collapsed afterwards in her seat as she was pulled out of the church by her company. I thought then that she's more guilty as charged than I do. Anyway, here's how my story goes, though I'm a little hesitant to share this and quite embarrassed for saying my own flaws. Yet, I've decided to impart it because someone might learn from it and heal their broken relationships in some way or the other.

I am the so-called "black sheep" of our family before. My father and I have this "cold war" going on between the two of us for ten years... and the whole family knows that. Before, my father always disapproves everything I do, my decisions, the people I'm with and anything about me under the sun. For that reason, I became quite rebellious somehow although I don't show it to my mother to protect her from getting stressed out because of me. My father can't show any affection on me that time and the only time we talk was when we argue and fight... I mean big fights. I should say then that he is an "absentee father"... meaning he is physically there but the presence of being a dad is absent. He's not into showing affection maybe because of the "machismo" culture that the Filipinos have. To be fair with him, he's good with my siblings and to my mom as well. Yet, I failed him in some of his expectations on me. Being visible of myself in his eyes ruins his day every time he woke up and crosses my path. Actually, behind my anger for him that time are sadness and longing for a father's attention. I've asked myself many times... Am I never gonna be good enough for him? Are we always going to treat each other this way? Time came that I've gone tired of arguing with him over and over again everyday. I've decided to totally distance myself from him and avoid him as much as possible. I assumed that he is hopeless of being good to me and changing his treatment towards me. So. I'd better pretend that I don't see him. The gap widens and it goes on for years. As much as I feel sorry for the whole family was affected by our cold war, I can't do anything. For I am the one who's only trying to adjust and change and on the other hand I don't see any change from my father. All I wanted from him is for him to try to win me back and make me feel that I am his son too. And that I exist not as disgrace in his eyes but a boy who's longing for a father's love. It sounds cheesy like in the movies but I realize that it's true in real life too. The "not minding each other" technique lowers the tension between the two of us. But, it did not solve any problem and it didn't heal any pain.

Years passed and my rebellious days are over when I've attended this mass where I've heard that striking line. Until that day, my father and I were still not in good terms and not talking to each other anymore. That moment, I've prayed to God to take over and take control of the broken relationship that my father and I have had coz I don't know how to start apologizing or doing the first move and if how will he respond to it.

The day after, my mother wanted our toilet to be tiled up. She asked someone to do the tiling. Unfortunately, it was wrongly done and was misplaced. So, my mom asked me to dismantle it and remove the misplaced tiles. While removing the tiles, I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and there's a hand offering a protective eye gear and asking me to wear it to cover my eyes against the little broken tile pieces in the air. When I looked back... it's my father. The world seemed it stopped that moment and I'm speechless while feeling a little awkward of the situation. I just accepted the safety glass and wore it and said my thanks. Hearing his voice again in a calm mode sounds music to my ears. There's no dialogues, flashbacks, apologies and tear-jerking moments that took place between the two of us. I think we've read each other's mind that we forgive each other and it's understandable. I felt of being unloaded with a big burden and I feel light.

Up to this day, my father and I are in good terms of bonding and our relationship are getting stronger each day. And I bet that my mom and the whole family are rejoicing for that. God really works in different ways and sometimes in the most unexpected way you can never imagine. Until now, I still quite wonder if why did we waste of living our lives in misunderstanding and hatred for a decade and it was just solved in a snap with a simple tap and because of one safety glass. Quite funny and a miracle to me of how a simple act can make a big change in your life.

On the other hand, I don't regret of having those not so good experiences in my life before. Because it taught me the best lessons and left me nothing but wisdom for myself to benefit later on with it and share this slice of my life with others. I can say now that I'm free from any anger and longing issues right now.

To all the fathers out there, literally or in any way, and to my father that I lost his presence with for many years and presently reconciled with... HAPPY FATHER's DAY!

"SUKITOLUTION" written by: Sukito

Whewww! At last, I got the guts to share a little something about myself personally. I simply wanted to impart a little piece of me to make even a small connection to my readers.

There’s something at the back of my mind that wanted to make nice things work for me. I just wanna do it without expecting too much on anything… what I mean was, my goals in life. As I've heard from a priest friend, one saying goes like this... "with more expectations, comes more frustrations". Hhhmmm… I think I should call this as “sukitolution”, instead of a resolution for the whole year. And, it’s not a list… but a deed.

It’s really hard for me to share anything about myself because I’m a type of guy who speaks less and a total introvert. My life seems normal in first glance, but it really wasnt good per se. I perceived myself as an average student when it comes academically. I’m not lucky in love yet I can’t say it’s zero. Careerwise? not really secure. I still haven’t met my dream job where I know that I can be happy doing it without only thinking about money and salary. Quite not in good terms domestically… but trying to make both ends meet and bridge the gap. I have my focus in life eventhough my way through it is blurry. There’s no clear direction on my mind on what lies ahead of me. I can’t say that I’m a happy-go-lucky coz I’m a homebuddy most of the time when I’m not busy. Maybe this is the downside of me and only proves the vulnerability of my human existence. I just go with the flow of what a normal living should be. Fixing things up when it’s needed. I am definitely not entertaining any problems right now though I am aware of its presence. I just don’t want to get stressed out of it. I suppose that this is my way of facing my troubles and shortcomings. I’m quite numb.

On the other hand, It wasn’t bad after all. I’ve been on the darker side of life and it made me know myself better. I have no reason to question or to get angry with God with some traumatic experiences that I’ve had. Not meant to sound preachy… but I wanted to assume that God notices me so much that he entrusted me with all those trials coz maybe He thinks that I can get through it and I can handle it well. It’s not yet over and I’m hoping to be their conqueror someday. I was wrong for making a lot of excuses and that I focus too much on what I lack without using and developing what I already have. I’m the one who should be responsible for the consequences of my own actions and I should stop on blaming others for my loss. We are in authority of our own lives anyways. Believe me! Readiness comes along the way and never before any downfall. The ghost of my past keeps on haunting me and I don’t want to run away from it anymore. Lately, one of my biggest relationship struggle in life just got healed just because of a single gesture. A decade of gap was bridged by a minute of the simplest action that made an impact of being reconciled.

I am not perfect and I may be a lost soul with lots of flaws… but it made me found my faith where my strength lies. It was right then… with acceptance comes healing.

LOVE WHO? written by: Sukito

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love". - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

They say that love should start from within. For you can never love others if you do not know how to love yourself first. But in some cases, there are those who can fully love others and revolve their world around that person without loving and forgetting themselves. Love comes in many forms. It may be for our family, parents, siblings, friends, special someones, partners in life, children, pet, things that we treasure most and God. Sometimes we tend to cross the line from what is good or bad, moral or not, right or wrong... when it comes to love. Our minds know if what's the right thing to do in such situation that we are in sometimes. But when the heart gets in the way, it influences a big change in those decisions we make. Wrong becomes right in our eyes. Blinding us somehow as we fight for someone special who has that space in our hearts. There were times when it is over yet we push through not knowing that we are hurting some people around us or that person we treasure most. Love in some way makes it hard for us to let go of someone in our arms, in our lives... for it is more painful when we willingly invested our emotions on someone. Sometimes love teaches us to let go if its not really meant to be. It's tough but made easy for we wanted the person to be free and happy as we try to move on with our own. When we know how to love, it seems that we can do everything. Everyday is happy and in good mode like no one else can annoy you or can ruin your day. It inspires us to build dreams and have new hope. Eventhough, love as an inspiration when overly done may turn into desperation and possessive and hopefully not destructive. Suffering when done out of love is genuine sacrifice and divine that doesn't wait for anything in return. While suffering against our will is punishment and curse itself.

In this world we live in... we love and we wanted to be loved. It makes us sad to be rejected and not to be loved back by the people we value. We're in search to find that someone whom we can love and serve and who can love and serve us back. Intellect can enable us on how to live but love on its part fuels us to move on and face what life has to offer as it provides us wisdom. It's nice to imagine that out of love... our world can be a better place to dwell in.

How about you... who loves you?

photo courtesy of: Amie's On-line Diary

AN IMMEASURABLE FAITH written by: Sukito

It was January 9, 2011... when I've had this jeepney ride with my mom. We were heading halfway to our destination when a middle-aged guy came riding inside the public vehicle. He's wearing an ordinary black shirt paired up with a dirty-looking maong short. He got tunnels in his both ears including some piercings in his face. Most of all, the one that caught my attention and all the passengers in the jeepney as well was that the man wasn't wearing any footwear, not even a single pair of slippers. Aside from the fact that his feet was totally dirty and muddy. I suppose that everyone who saw him that day will think that he's insane. The only thing that convinced me that he's not nuts was when he paid for his fare. He knows his destination as well as his change for his fare and he speaks simple but clear and normal too. He's going into somewhere far while he knew that he's barefooted. He's also not ashamed on his looks. And I'm surprised when I saw that he's carrying a rosary in his pocket as he pulled out his money. So the story goes...

When I got home, I kinda watched the news... and only then that I knew and recall that January 9, 2011 is the "Feast of the Black Nazarene" where its devotees used to travel barefooted and go all the way to the Quiapo Church where the said patron saint lies and being paraded within the vicinity. Walking without anything on your feet is only one way to make your sacrifice for any petition, healing, or thanksgiving you wanted to do in return. And as we all know that joining the procession of the said feast is really life-risking, tiring and dangerous at the same time for it is definitely overcrowded and stampede-like where some folks are not making it 'til the end. And in the news, 6 million devotees are expected to participate in the procession or maybe more.

I suddenly remember the man that I saw that day who's barefooted and who looks like a drug addict and got those body piercings on him. He is a devotee of the Black Nazarene! And his faith obviously doesn't reflect on his outside appearance. It made me think and smile somehow that faith in God should really start and come from within and not on the external looks.

LOOKS ARE DECEIVING written by: Sukito

Recently, I've had this unexpected experience in a drugstore. It was an ironic encounter and made me think somehow.

It was that day when my mom asked me to buy an eye drop for her. My mom gave me seventy pesos (Php 70.00) to be exact assuming that it's more than enough for the price of an eye drop for the red eyes. Later, I was in the drugstore and I already got what I needed. So, I started to fall in line. I noticed the man ahead of me in the line towards the counter. He's a skinny, dark and old man with three kids holding on his hand. I assumed that those are his children and they pretty looked like that they haven't taken a bath for days. No offense meant for them and I don't mean to be rude but that's how I can easily describe them based on the way they appearred to me. I can't deny to myself that I felt a little pity on them, to the man and to the kids. And so the story goes...

When it was my turn to pay for the eye drop on the counter, the sales lady already punched the item in the cashier and said that the total cost of the item that I got was seventy five pesos (Php 75.00) in all. I was about to pull out my money in my pocket when I realized that I only have seventy pesos, no more... no less. Unfortunately, I didn't bring any extra money that time. So, I lacked out an amount of five pesos (Php 5.00). I'm quite confused and I told the sales lady that I have to get out first and get back home to provide the lacking five peso amount of the product that I bought... though I know that our home is quite far in the said drug store in terms of distance. Without further ado and explanation, the man that I just felt pity with got near me in the counter and paid the remaining five pesos. No other words came out of my mouth that time but "thank you". And the man just bowed down after I said my gratitude on him. Then, he left away immediately out of the drug store with his kids without any words at all.

I'm so focused of feeling pity for them and it turned out that I'm the one who's in need of help from him. I felt judgmental of myself towards them and that I perceived them in their external appearances without knowing what they are capable of doing. Maybe, it was only a little amount of five pesos and that simplest and humble gesture from him means a lot and impacted me so much. Looks are really deceiving sometimes and we shouldn't really judge the book by its cover. I suddenly remember what Alanis Morissette asked on her song, "isn't it ironic... don't you think?".

A BIRTHDAY DATE WITH GOD written by: Sukito

What really makes one person happy?
This question always pops up in my mind whenever my birthday comes. I do not know if what should I expect out of myself and from the people around me. When I was a kid, my birthday was one of the awaited day to celebrate. Of course, lots of gifts and treats that brings some sense of excitement and surprise. Later on, I've figured out that as people grow... things change and we're starting to have different and bigger expectations in life. It's true then that nothing's permanent in this world except for change itself. I value toys and other material stuff before when I was seven and it made me contented somehow. Unlike today, I am more happy... maybe of some material things but big ones like real cars, gadgets or house and lot. Still, I assume that I am looking for a different kind of satisfaction which will last for long and which will bring me a genuine kind of gratitude and joy. Maybe, those which cannot be bought by money alone. Yet, I don't want to be a hypocrite because I know that money plays a big part in our everyday living especially nowadays and in times of crisis. Although, I have a different perspective in life right now. I want a life with sense and meaning which can show my worth to myself and to all those people I love.
Presently, I am still speechless and doesn't have a definite answer if I am asked of being happy or what have I done useful lately. Figures will be added in our age each time our natal days were remembered and celebrated. But, are we worth of that number? Am I accomplished enough though I have gone quite far in terms of experience? Have I learned something where myself can benefit for the better? Well, I do not know exactly. One thing I know is that I'm partly happy and will be filled up with contentment when I reach my goals. I want to live a life not only for me but most of all for my family. I wanted to be the one who will accomplish my parents' dreams of living a comfortable life. It includes securing my future as well. As it is said, "earn while you were young, spend when you are old". I wanted to be the conqueror of my own dreams without being dictated by the norms of society and what some say as right and wrong. Eventhough, time revolves around me and leaving me a feeling of being trapped in the pit. Anyway, I am grateful that I can celebrate my birthday in good health regardless of all those trials and difficulties I've been through. That what really matters. It made me a whole person and growing stronger to face another chapter.
For now, I am celebrating my birthday differently. Skipping family treats in fine dine in or in "dampa", hanging out with friends with "inuman" sessions... yet I don't drink alcohol. I think I'll just pray. Some might find it boring but it's mind-refreshing and can rejuvenate your faith. Prayer is the strength of man in times of turmoil and God's weakness for He has no choice but to listen and answer that prayer. Today, I heard a mass and just had my birthday date with God.
God bless...

THE BLACK RAIN written by: Sukito

A “black rain” introduced itself on me when it rained out that night. Awakening thoughts of elegant isolation and disturbing silence where it dwells with the forsaken.

“Black rain” symbolizes sadness yet bears a heart for the broken. A heaven’s cry as the moon and the stars hides and mourns for the sanctuary’s rebellious night. Those are like teardrops falling from above and will make you wonder whose eyes have shed it. Teardrops that gives life as the friendly earth absorbs its loneliness. Loneliness that extends the living and resurrects the cycle of life and death.

It is a sanctifier that cleanse my mind and consoles my soul as it tickles every inch of my body. The solidarity of each raindrops removes the solitude in me and adds up a pinch of sensuality. The cluttering sound it makes in the rooftop is like a lullaby that brings comfort then puts me into sleep. And in there, everything is in a relaxing mode with all its calmness where good things are possible and bad things are reversible. A graceful exit to recharge for the next day…

The “black rain” may mean sadness. But… it will teach us to appreciate more of what happiness in life really means!

FIVE CRAZY THINGS TO DO WITHIN FIVE DAYS written by: Sukito

     Tired of living in your daily routines? Want something new or try something different? Well, do these crazy tips for fun and for gaining quite odd experiences that you can share if you want. Dare yourself!

Day 1: Eat All You Can

Satisfy your cravings. Eat all the food you want as long as you can and as long as you can afford. Do this regardless of your allergies and hypertension. Just don't overeat or you might end up killing yourself. Always have your medicine with you just in case. Tasting will do if you have this bad condition of the food that you've been dying for to eat. Skip your gym schedule for once and temporarily forget your "After Six" or "South Beach" diet. For an additional suggestion, dine in with your friends in an "Eat All You Can" restaurant. Once again, do not eat more than the capacity of your tummy because this activity is highly prone for constipation and LBM.

Day 2: Sleep All Day

Have you heard of the song "Sleep All Day" by Jason Mraz? This one is a recharging thing to do. Don't set your alarm clock. Turn off your cellphone. Then, cancel all your appointments within that day. Not applicable for students during weekdays but highly recommended for the workaholics. For girls, pretend that you are "Sleeping Beauty" and for guys, assume that you are the male version of the said fairy tale. If you can't really fall asleep after counting thousands of sheeps in your head… skip this step and proceed to the next one. I am not suggesting the use of sleeping pills coz it will make your sleep artificial. All you have to do is sleep more than your hours of sleep or if you can… do it the whole day. However, don't oversleep or you might end up sleeping for a lifetime.

Day 3: Shout Out!!!

This craziness is 95% guarantee of feeling good afterwards and 5% guarantee of losing your voice. All you have to do is go to the highest place where you can possibly be. It may be on the top of the building, a mountain peak or if there's no other choice… your rooftop will do. I don't suggest climbing up in the billboard because other people might think that you're nuts or insane not unless you want to be in the news as a freak. Anyway, wherever that highest altitude you are standing… all you have to do is to shout out loud to the very top of your lungs with all your anguish in the world. It sounds cheesy, but it works! Just make sure no one hears or recognizes you when you do this. Moreover, this stuff has the capability of taking away your burden in some point and will make you feel light about yourself. I think, this is way much better and challenging than making your friendster or facebook shoutout.

Day 4: Say Cheese :)

Staple the best smile you got on your face. Keep on smiling and "say cheese" to any people who cross your path. I know that it sounds weird or will make you look ridiculous especially smiling with no reason at all or in front of a total stranger. However, doing this can guarantee you 70% of friendship in return and 30% of meeting your soulmate… who knows?! In fact, smile is the cheapest… yet the best gift anyone can give. Side effects of having a lockjaw might happen if done with exaggeration. But, make sure you brush your teeth before flashing out your smile.

Day 5: Be Wacky!

Upload your wackiest video ever on "You Tube" or in any video hosting site of your choice. Make a crazy move, act or stunt and show to anyone that you can be funny too! Then, see if how many views your video can get after uploading it. Others might think you are insane while others might appreciate your sense of humor and find it cool. Doing this may open a window of an opportunity for you of being discovered as a comedian or an actor especially if you got the x factor. You can also earn fans or much better, friendship from your viewers. If you cannot afford or have an access of making a video… a wacky photo of yourself will do. Moreover, taking a wacky video or picture with your loved ones or with your family is way much better. Remember, "the more… the merrier!". Aside from the famous line that "laughter is the best medicine", I can say that laughter is a good virus… for it is contagious in a good way. The outbreak it brings, makes the infected place happier and free of worries. It's a good feeling to make someone laugh and happy just by being wacky. Warning!... uploading a wacky video is highly addictive.

     To sum it up, this article as a whole doesn't intend to make you look stupid by doing these crazy things. It's up to you if you want to give it a shot. But, these tips will be helpful somehow specifically for those stressful ones. It's about freeing yourself from a busy life once in a while and going out of your shell that bores you. You can be adventurous even in trying out on simple things. I am hoping that these so-called five crazy things will teach us how to feel light-hearted in dealing with the trials and challenges our life has to offer. Unleash again the child and the funny side in us without getting binded by what the social norms and the rules of morality dictates, without being pressured by what some folks tells us if what's the right thing to do. It's all about our own choices and free will that will enable us to live beyond the normal things we can do and in a limited world that stops us from discovering more of ourselves. As Kris Allen of American Idol says in his single, "Live Like We're Dying". Pretend that this is your last day on earth. Life is short, but will be perceived as long-lived if it goes with a purpose of exploring beyond our limitation. Take things easy and be cool.:) 

Photo by: Sukito San