ACCEPTANCE and HEALING

     With ACCEPTANCE, comes HEALING.

     In any problems that we are facing in our lives, we always seek for solution. Sometimes, we take a detour in "bargaining" false hopes. Much worst, when we take a break and get stocked with "denial". May it be a family or domestic problem, a breakup in love, a relationship falling apart, a terminal illness or health threat, a financial crisis, and even a problem within yourself. All these troubles that we are going through should be dealt and be analyzed carefully by you initially... for you to come up with a good solution. Divine help through prayers to provide you fair wisdom in dealing with such downfall and moral support from your family and friends or from someone you really trust is a big help in guiding you which direction to take under confusing moments and stressful situations. Hopelessness, despair, and sadness... are normal feelings that may visit us in our darkest hours. But, NEVER make yourself and your mind dwell too much on it. RUN AWAY from it as fast as you can for this may lead you to depression and lure you into committing suicide afterwards. Keep calm for a while and think as you go to the nearest possible solution for your shortcomings. The way to do it is to recognize your problems and never turn it into a monster that will creep you under your bed when you go to sleep. Most of all, resort to "acceptance" as much as possible. Unload your life's burden by accepting it wholeheartedly and turning that acceptance as your permanent solution. Then... "healing" to oneself will surely follow. 

     Smile! Just hold still and be strong. All things shall pass... even problems too :)  

Photo by: Sukito San

FAITH and RELIGION

     Faith is the real essence of any religion... as religion is the foundation of one's faith.

     I am a devout Catholic and that is my religion. But my "faith" in HIM is above my religion and more than its boundaries because it is a deep personal relationship. Religion on the other hand is the catalyst that introduces man to his faith. But, "faith" for me is more than just a word and deeper to define that only my heart can read and not by my eyes and words alone. It's the trials, hardships, and gratitude in life that purifies one person to light up the spark on his faith in any religion where he belongs. Religion divides us as spiritual life seekers. But all of us has one common faith within us that only differs with its sincerity and clarity depending on the manner of how we hone it ourselves and allow it to change our lives on the good side. Not for ourselves alone but being good to others as well. Some people wanted to look for an explanation and be scientifically-oriented on this matter... and I can't blame them, for we are all entitled of free will for our own life choices. Most of all, FAITH is NOT FORCED... it is felt wholeheartedly without waiting something in return. With no offense meant to anyone, atheist, or any religion... as I respect religion in all forms.

     In my humble opinion, religion is the practice of one's faith. But, faith is the life... not of the religion but of the one who bears it. 

     Be blessed everyone!

Photo by: Sukito San

TO BE SOMEBODY SOMEDAY written by: Sukito

Today, I have paid our water bill in our Barangay Hall's "Bayad Center". Outside the hall, a feeding program was being held and was organized by the social workers. As I took a glance of the street children sitting in front of the long table, they were very happy and excited while waiting for their free food. One volunteer entertains them and was explaining something as the kids patiently wait. A curious and hopeful thought stirred into my mind. I told myself that one day... one of those street kids will be somebody someday. One of them might be the future President of this country, a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, a soldier, a pilot, a manager, an engineer, an executive, or maybe a humble volunteer who will be the one to be feeding another poor child like what he or she have been through as a kid. I really have a deserving high respect for the feeding programs especially for the street children. I perceived it as an act of not only feeding a hungry tummy but also resurrecting the hopes and dreams of the young ones and shaping their personality in some point as well.
On the other hand, I can see myself in those kids. I didn't grew up in a rich family. I am proud of my father and my mother that despite the financial crisis we've dealt before... they still manage to provide us for our everyday food though not extravagant, send us over to school though not private, dressed us with comfortable clothes though not expensive, sheltered us under a simple house though not a mansion. I am a nobody in school during my elementary years. I'm the one who's unnoticed, a boy from behind who just watches those extrovert and active boys who proudly plays basketball in front of everyone else. I may not have a lot of friends or peers who can always join me for a company or just to hang-out with, but I can assure them that I'm a friend 'til the end when they have me as a pal. Growing up introvert and alone isn't really happy but challenging at the same time because you will be hungry to prove yourself for the better. It's alone in the top that's what they say, but you will discover your strength and conquer your weakness in return. Personally, being always hungry for opportunities and chances is better than to be contented with nothing and die without even trying. There's nothing wrong of giving your dreams a shot. And there's no mistake that will teach you a lesson without risking for what you definitely want to do in your life... what your heart desires! Just try not to be greedy and selfish. Climbing up without stepping and pulling anyone else down. My childhood experiences and the struggles that my family and I have had humbles me down and makes me appreciate life's blessings much sweeter after its bitterness. My dreams and what I wanted to do most is still on the process and I am on my journey to get out of the maze.
All of us has our own journey to travel, dreams to chase, and goals to accomplish. Dream big! It's for free. Act on it and you will surely harvest the fruit of your labor someday! It's never wrong to be somebody someday.

SHUT DOWN! written by: Sukito

Like any other computers after being overused... they automatically shut down!

There were times in my life... in our lives that after a busy day, tiring job, stressful situations, heartaches and pain... we felt like we wanted to escape and go somewhere else alone where no one would know and disturb us. A place where we can just think things over. Where we can breathe freely and reflect on what have happened or what have we gone through the whole day! Especially when we are suffocated with many problems and wanted to forget it even for a while. I am not trying to be sentimental but I know that all of us have experienced this and all of us wanted to have a break sometimes for whatever we bear in mind. Like a "stop over" in any long travel!
If you're gonna ask my personal experience about this matter, all I can recall was that I have been through this event many times. Thinking about it, I am hoping that it wouldn't mean or give you a notion that I am living a stressful life. But really, as far as I can remember... whenever I am having this kind of dilemma... I can hardly get some sleep! Feels like you're wide awake the whole time! You've been lying in in your bed for a minute... then hours... 'til morning comes and you are still up with your eyebags unconcealed. Seems like you are a drug addict, but you're really not. It's a mixed emotion of boredom, tiredness, stress, sadness and numbness. Then, the more you dwell in it... you'll definitely fall into depression. And it will be much tougher to cope up when you are drowned in it. No matter how hard you try to divert your attention into something else, counting thousands of sheeps in your head, whether doing your favorite hobbies, or just making yourself busy... though it works sometimes if you're lucky enough. Your mind is blank and it gives you nothing but headache when you try to think harder and forget it.. Then, that's the time when you can say that your mind and body is voluntarily shutting down for some reason you can't clearly understand. I think my body and mind is trying to tell me to chill down, relax, take a break and recharge for the next day. Brace myself for what tomorrow might bring. While making it a point in my mind that God wouldn't give us anything we can't handle just to keep away the fear that awaits. Then you retire and sleep...

MY FOUR WIVES written by: Sukito

All of us has our own priorities in life. Sometimes our whole lives revolves around these things... these people. In my case, my whole world only revolves around my four wives every time and everyday. But not really on my fourth wife...
I wouldn't tell my name as well as my wives because I think that it wasn't that of much importance. All I want to share and for you to think about is my story and to all those who will read this. Maybe we are the same. Maybe we are in the same situation right now. Maybe you are currently doing what I'm doing. Maybe you are already committing the same mistake that I have done... or you are just unaware of it. Just a simple tip for you before it's not yet too late. Usually, regret always comes in the end. I just don't want you to end up on what I have been through.
I am a simple guy who have four wives. I cannot live without the four of them because I need them in my life. All of them plays an important role for me... for my whole being. Only that, I should say and admit that I am not giving equal attention to each of them. Different levels per se'. I have my personal favorites and the not so minded.
My first wife is my favorite. I am giving her all my luxuries. She's quite materialistic. From dresses, shoes, accessories, jewelries, and all the extravagance from head to foot... I'm giving it all! Even the food that's not healthy to eat as long as she wants it... I'm making her taste it!
I value my second wife. I love her coz I need her. I do admit that I really couldn't live without her and I will starve to death for she provides me anything I need. Sometimes even the needs of my first and third wife will surely be coming out from her pocket. It's really hard to survive nowadays without any allowance. That is why I cannot leave my second wife.
I love my third wife. She is my source of inspiration and moral support. She's my usual company and the one that stands with me in all my troubles in life and whenever I have a problem. When I need someone to talk to in times of sorrow and happiness. Because of her that is why I am earning hard for a living. I can't really leave her side unless the situation will force me to do so.
I also need my fourth wife. It's fine with me that she stays because I know that she wouldn't leave me. Eventhough I do not pay that much importance on her. From the time I wake up until I fall to sleep, she's always there and never keeps me off her sight. Whenever I'm alone and have problems, she's just there... listening. And you wouldn't hear a word from her. She's a good listener and maybe that's why I need her in my life. Still, I don't mind her that much despite her loyalty on me. Most of the time, I am not providing her needs... like food maybe.
Until one day, I was diagnosed with a malignant disease. My doctor said that I will only live for three months and it will be all over. There's no cure for my illness. My world shattered and I can't accept that fact especially if I will deal it all by myself. Because of what happened to me I felt that I needed some company who will stand by me all the way through. So, I asked my each of my four wives this only one question, "If something really worst will happen to me and I will be gone... would you stay with me all the way until the very end?".
My first wife answered, "I can't be with you 'til the end because I will be useless without you and I will be nothing.
My second wife answered, "I can't be with you until the end because I'd rather be in the hands of another and let them use me and benefit me than to go down with you in your destination.
My third wife answered, I just can't be with you to the very end... though how much I would have wanted to. I can support you, cry for you, or even grieve for you. But I can't go along with you to wherever you are heading.
I am already losing hope to ask my fourth wife. Yet, she knows my suffering... so I earned enough strength to ask her. My fourth wife answered me right away and without any hesitation, "I will be with you on your journey all the way until the very end".
My first wife is my "human body". It will be lifeless when I'm gone and it can't bring down to the grave all the luxuries and extravagances it got when I'm still alive.
My second wife is my "money". It will be left behind to my loved ones and will have no more use on me when I'm gone.
My third wife are my "family and friends". They can be with me when I'm still around and take care of me in times of sickness. However, they can do nothing but mourn for me when 'm dead.
My fourth wife is my "soul"... who will be with me to the very end even on the other side.
How about you? When was the last time you've been to church, had your communion, or even prayed? When was the last time you put an importance on your fourth wife... on your soul?


(This story was inspired by Fr. Larry Paz of Holy Family Parish of Marikina from his homily last June 26, 2011 on the "The Feast Of Corpus Christi". Translated into writing by yours truly, Sukito, on a manner of "first-person point of view" based on my own version of understanding on the story. I am hoping that you've reflected on this story in connection to your life and that you've learned something from it. I will be more glad if you will share this in credit to this blog and to the persons responsible for giving a body to this story. Thank you for reading.)

You can also read this on its Filipino version that I have translated on the link below...
http://definitelyfilipino.com/blog/2011/07/11/ang-apat-kong-asawa/.

THE FATHER, THE SON, AND THE SAFETY GLASS written by: Sukito

It was a Sunday morning mass, can't remember the exact date, when a priest said in his homily in Tagalog that it's better to get angry with a person with hate words than totally not minding and noticing the person at all... for you are already considering him/her as dead and doesn't exist anymore. That's the sentence that struck me and made me feel guilty about myself especially when it comes to my relationship with my father. Suddenly, the lady sitting in front of me cried and collapsed afterwards in her seat as she was pulled out of the church by her company. I thought then that she's more guilty as charged than I do. Anyway, here's how my story goes, though I'm a little hesitant to share this and quite embarrassed for saying my own flaws. Yet, I've decided to impart it because someone might learn from it and heal their broken relationships in some way or the other.

I am the so-called "black sheep" of our family before. My father and I have this "cold war" going on between the two of us for ten years... and the whole family knows that. Before, my father always disapproves everything I do, my decisions, the people I'm with and anything about me under the sun. For that reason, I became quite rebellious somehow although I don't show it to my mother to protect her from getting stressed out because of me. My father can't show any affection on me that time and the only time we talk was when we argue and fight... I mean big fights. I should say then that he is an "absentee father"... meaning he is physically there but the presence of being a dad is absent. He's not into showing affection maybe because of the "machismo" culture that the Filipinos have. To be fair with him, he's good with my siblings and to my mom as well. Yet, I failed him in some of his expectations on me. Being visible of myself in his eyes ruins his day every time he woke up and crosses my path. Actually, behind my anger for him that time are sadness and longing for a father's attention. I've asked myself many times... Am I never gonna be good enough for him? Are we always going to treat each other this way? Time came that I've gone tired of arguing with him over and over again everyday. I've decided to totally distance myself from him and avoid him as much as possible. I assumed that he is hopeless of being good to me and changing his treatment towards me. So. I'd better pretend that I don't see him. The gap widens and it goes on for years. As much as I feel sorry for the whole family was affected by our cold war, I can't do anything. For I am the one who's only trying to adjust and change and on the other hand I don't see any change from my father. All I wanted from him is for him to try to win me back and make me feel that I am his son too. And that I exist not as disgrace in his eyes but a boy who's longing for a father's love. It sounds cheesy like in the movies but I realize that it's true in real life too. The "not minding each other" technique lowers the tension between the two of us. But, it did not solve any problem and it didn't heal any pain.

Years passed and my rebellious days are over when I've attended this mass where I've heard that striking line. Until that day, my father and I were still not in good terms and not talking to each other anymore. That moment, I've prayed to God to take over and take control of the broken relationship that my father and I have had coz I don't know how to start apologizing or doing the first move and if how will he respond to it.

The day after, my mother wanted our toilet to be tiled up. She asked someone to do the tiling. Unfortunately, it was wrongly done and was misplaced. So, my mom asked me to dismantle it and remove the misplaced tiles. While removing the tiles, I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and there's a hand offering a protective eye gear and asking me to wear it to cover my eyes against the little broken tile pieces in the air. When I looked back... it's my father. The world seemed it stopped that moment and I'm speechless while feeling a little awkward of the situation. I just accepted the safety glass and wore it and said my thanks. Hearing his voice again in a calm mode sounds music to my ears. There's no dialogues, flashbacks, apologies and tear-jerking moments that took place between the two of us. I think we've read each other's mind that we forgive each other and it's understandable. I felt of being unloaded with a big burden and I feel light.

Up to this day, my father and I are in good terms of bonding and our relationship are getting stronger each day. And I bet that my mom and the whole family are rejoicing for that. God really works in different ways and sometimes in the most unexpected way you can never imagine. Until now, I still quite wonder if why did we waste of living our lives in misunderstanding and hatred for a decade and it was just solved in a snap with a simple tap and because of one safety glass. Quite funny and a miracle to me of how a simple act can make a big change in your life.

On the other hand, I don't regret of having those not so good experiences in my life before. Because it taught me the best lessons and left me nothing but wisdom for myself to benefit later on with it and share this slice of my life with others. I can say now that I'm free from any anger and longing issues right now.

To all the fathers out there, literally or in any way, and to my father that I lost his presence with for many years and presently reconciled with... HAPPY FATHER's DAY!

"SUKITOLUTION" written by: Sukito

Whewww! At last, I got the guts to share a little something about myself personally. I simply wanted to impart a little piece of me to make even a small connection to my readers.

There’s something at the back of my mind that wanted to make nice things work for me. I just wanna do it without expecting too much on anything… what I mean was, my goals in life. As I've heard from a priest friend, one saying goes like this... "with more expectations, comes more frustrations". Hhhmmm… I think I should call this as “sukitolution”, instead of a resolution for the whole year. And, it’s not a list… but a deed.

It’s really hard for me to share anything about myself because I’m a type of guy who speaks less and a total introvert. My life seems normal in first glance, but it really wasnt good per se. I perceived myself as an average student when it comes academically. I’m not lucky in love yet I can’t say it’s zero. Careerwise? not really secure. I still haven’t met my dream job where I know that I can be happy doing it without only thinking about money and salary. Quite not in good terms domestically… but trying to make both ends meet and bridge the gap. I have my focus in life eventhough my way through it is blurry. There’s no clear direction on my mind on what lies ahead of me. I can’t say that I’m a happy-go-lucky coz I’m a homebuddy most of the time when I’m not busy. Maybe this is the downside of me and only proves the vulnerability of my human existence. I just go with the flow of what a normal living should be. Fixing things up when it’s needed. I am definitely not entertaining any problems right now though I am aware of its presence. I just don’t want to get stressed out of it. I suppose that this is my way of facing my troubles and shortcomings. I’m quite numb.

On the other hand, It wasn’t bad after all. I’ve been on the darker side of life and it made me know myself better. I have no reason to question or to get angry with God with some traumatic experiences that I’ve had. Not meant to sound preachy… but I wanted to assume that God notices me so much that he entrusted me with all those trials coz maybe He thinks that I can get through it and I can handle it well. It’s not yet over and I’m hoping to be their conqueror someday. I was wrong for making a lot of excuses and that I focus too much on what I lack without using and developing what I already have. I’m the one who should be responsible for the consequences of my own actions and I should stop on blaming others for my loss. We are in authority of our own lives anyways. Believe me! Readiness comes along the way and never before any downfall. The ghost of my past keeps on haunting me and I don’t want to run away from it anymore. Lately, one of my biggest relationship struggle in life just got healed just because of a single gesture. A decade of gap was bridged by a minute of the simplest action that made an impact of being reconciled.

I am not perfect and I may be a lost soul with lots of flaws… but it made me found my faith where my strength lies. It was right then… with acceptance comes healing.

FORGOTTEN WAYS written by: Sukito

Last month I was visiting our municipal hall when I saw a painter in the lobby having an exhibit of his artwork while doing his painting on-the-spot. It struck me somehow for it made me remember what I love doing before when I was still a kid. I love to draw and sketch anything then. As I grew up my love for drawing and sketching evolved into painting. I got to paint before using oil pastels, water color, poster color, paint, and of course... the usual crayons that taught me how to recognize and admire colors and relate to each color emotionally. Today, since I graduated from high school I stopped painting as a hobby. I started to get busy in my school and academic life most especially when I was in college. I've been exposed to the world of technology and my art turned out to be done in the digital way... from powerpoint down to the photoshop. The painting exhibit with the painter doing an "on-the-spot painting while signing the autograph of those who admire his work made me go back to my old self. Is this how far I've been? Forgetting those fist things I love doing most with the benefit of my hand alone and without the aid of modernization. My mom said that it is my gift from God that I should be sharing and be thankful for. One thing that's in me that I should enhance well and show to others by interpreting what's on my mind and what I feel inside that may enable anyone who will see it to relate in it and express their emotions as well. They said that any talent or skills you got when not regularly practiced or developed might be gone in the later part of our lives and will be wasted more when not shown or shared especially for the benefit of yourself and others.

Back to basics, not only into painting or in any talent we have. But into those first things that taught us anything about life, and made us feel certain things that we haven't felt before... the first hug, first kiss, first friend, first ABC's, first laugh or bonding moment with someone we love and respect, first failures and heartaches, the first time we move on and saw hope, the first people that inspire us and the first time we've been taught how to pray. To simplify it, our first lessons in life!

It doesn't require a big amount of effort who you were and where you came from before you got into your status right now. This may sound cheesy but I am hoping that this article might make anyone who reads this to smile and reminisce those old days to cherish. How about you... who you were before?

ASH WEDNESDAY written by: Sukito

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lenten Season. In the olden times, ash in the forehead signifies that the one who has it is a sinner. A Catholic practice which symbolizes that from the ashes, we will turn back into ashes in the end.

Whenever this event comes, it only reminds us of one thing... and that is to be humble. Being down to earth in the eyes of God and towards our fellowmen. No matter how far we've been or experienced in this lifetime or even how successful we are in every aspect of life. That riches, wealth, recognition, accomplishments and power will be nothing when we reach the end of our journey in this world. We should remember that all of us started from nothing and from being a nobody. We may be an expert or good in everything we do right now but we should reminisce those times when we know nothing of what we presently do... we begun as the ordinary and the ignorant person beforehand. We shouldn't boast for our accomplishments. Instead, we should share our knowledge... those things that we've learned... and our blessings to others.

Confucius says, "life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated". There were those times that it feels good to get back to basics. Those simple lessons in life. Days free from stressful situations and from complicated events and from the drowning sins... existing and waiting to be committed. It feels great to live a new life with humble beginnings with our feet that stays on the ground as we evolve for good each day. To grow hope in our hearts and nurture it to benefit us during downtimes.

I think that when we meet God, He wouldn't ask us how much wealth we gain or how successful we've been. We shouldn't feel proud of ourselves that we've helped a lot and have done good things because this is not the measurement of living the good life. It might be somehow and in some way but what really counts is how we humbly deal with the trials and the triumphs we've had and learning from it and sharing it to those in need. This season is not only for penance and fasting. It's also for reflecting and making our hearts and minds in peace with God and with ourselves as well. To keep on living good as much as we can and be a blessing not only to the people we love but to all those people around us. God bless...

LOVE WHO? written by: Sukito

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love". - excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

They say that love should start from within. For you can never love others if you do not know how to love yourself first. But in some cases, there are those who can fully love others and revolve their world around that person without loving and forgetting themselves. Love comes in many forms. It may be for our family, parents, siblings, friends, special someones, partners in life, children, pet, things that we treasure most and God. Sometimes we tend to cross the line from what is good or bad, moral or not, right or wrong... when it comes to love. Our minds know if what's the right thing to do in such situation that we are in sometimes. But when the heart gets in the way, it influences a big change in those decisions we make. Wrong becomes right in our eyes. Blinding us somehow as we fight for someone special who has that space in our hearts. There were times when it is over yet we push through not knowing that we are hurting some people around us or that person we treasure most. Love in some way makes it hard for us to let go of someone in our arms, in our lives... for it is more painful when we willingly invested our emotions on someone. Sometimes love teaches us to let go if its not really meant to be. It's tough but made easy for we wanted the person to be free and happy as we try to move on with our own. When we know how to love, it seems that we can do everything. Everyday is happy and in good mode like no one else can annoy you or can ruin your day. It inspires us to build dreams and have new hope. Eventhough, love as an inspiration when overly done may turn into desperation and possessive and hopefully not destructive. Suffering when done out of love is genuine sacrifice and divine that doesn't wait for anything in return. While suffering against our will is punishment and curse itself.

In this world we live in... we love and we wanted to be loved. It makes us sad to be rejected and not to be loved back by the people we value. We're in search to find that someone whom we can love and serve and who can love and serve us back. Intellect can enable us on how to live but love on its part fuels us to move on and face what life has to offer as it provides us wisdom. It's nice to imagine that out of love... our world can be a better place to dwell in.

How about you... who loves you?

photo courtesy of: Amie's On-line Diary

LOOKS ARE DECEIVING written by: Sukito

Recently, I've had this unexpected experience in a drugstore. It was an ironic encounter and made me think somehow.

It was that day when my mom asked me to buy an eye drop for her. My mom gave me seventy pesos (Php 70.00) to be exact assuming that it's more than enough for the price of an eye drop for the red eyes. Later, I was in the drugstore and I already got what I needed. So, I started to fall in line. I noticed the man ahead of me in the line towards the counter. He's a skinny, dark and old man with three kids holding on his hand. I assumed that those are his children and they pretty looked like that they haven't taken a bath for days. No offense meant for them and I don't mean to be rude but that's how I can easily describe them based on the way they appearred to me. I can't deny to myself that I felt a little pity on them, to the man and to the kids. And so the story goes...

When it was my turn to pay for the eye drop on the counter, the sales lady already punched the item in the cashier and said that the total cost of the item that I got was seventy five pesos (Php 75.00) in all. I was about to pull out my money in my pocket when I realized that I only have seventy pesos, no more... no less. Unfortunately, I didn't bring any extra money that time. So, I lacked out an amount of five pesos (Php 5.00). I'm quite confused and I told the sales lady that I have to get out first and get back home to provide the lacking five peso amount of the product that I bought... though I know that our home is quite far in the said drug store in terms of distance. Without further ado and explanation, the man that I just felt pity with got near me in the counter and paid the remaining five pesos. No other words came out of my mouth that time but "thank you". And the man just bowed down after I said my gratitude on him. Then, he left away immediately out of the drug store with his kids without any words at all.

I'm so focused of feeling pity for them and it turned out that I'm the one who's in need of help from him. I felt judgmental of myself towards them and that I perceived them in their external appearances without knowing what they are capable of doing. Maybe, it was only a little amount of five pesos and that simplest and humble gesture from him means a lot and impacted me so much. Looks are really deceiving sometimes and we shouldn't really judge the book by its cover. I suddenly remember what Alanis Morissette asked on her song, "isn't it ironic... don't you think?".

LOTTO FEVER ONCE AGAIN written by: Sukito

Have you already heard the song, "Billionaire", by Bruno Mars and Travie McCoy? It's in trend to listen to it right now especially if you are one of those Filipinos who plays for the chance to win Php 135 million and still growing each time as long as no one hits the jackpot. Whenever this time comes, you can somehow say that, "Money really makes the world go round".

I don’t really gamble in any kind, may it be legal and definitely never illegal. But this time, I’ve tried to give it a shot… who knows? Libre lang naman ang mangarap. Hindi nga lang ang pagtaya, bente pesos din ‘yon. At the back of my mind, I was thinking that twenty pesos is worthless if you’re lucky enough to win the jackpot price. It was a long line at pumila pa rin ako. Wala naman ‘yon kumpara sa ibang pilang napilahan ko… gaya ng sa pagbabayad ng tuition fee na umiikot pa sa buong campus building no’n.

I just wanted to know if how does it feel to play with guessing that six numbers of Philippine Lotto Draw that can make a change in anyone’s life eventhough it wasn’t a big deal for me. It was indeed a game of chance, and normal weird thoughts came into my mind then. I was imagining those things that I will buy just in case I won. I was thinking of a house and lot, a car maybe, a condo unit, franchising a big business, clothes, shoes and the likes, going out of town or out of the country will do, donating to our church or into any charity. Lastly, “balato“ syempre sa pamilya’t mga kamag-anak. Anyway, before my illusions goes a long way. I’ve realized that all those things that I’ve thought of having are mostly material. Money will always be money! I don’t want to be a hypocrite to say that I don’t need it. Even it was often identified as the root of all evil. That’s what we are earning for and we still need it for a better way of living especially if you are already married with kids. Actually, it really depends upon the person if where and how is he/she gonna use it. I am thinking too if those people that I’m with in the line were also desiring of those things that I’ve had in mind. They are people in all walks of life, may mayaman, may mahirap, may empleyado, may tambay, may pulubi… syempre, mawawala ba ang mga sugarol at ang mga mananaya talaga ng lotto. ‘Pag pera na talaga ang pinag-uusapan, naghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan!

Anyways, it turned out that my six numbers weren't lucky enough to be picked. Thank God, I didn’t expect too much on it! As it was said, “With great expectations, comes more frustrations”. At least, I wouldn’t feel frustrated after all. It was only a try and I wouldn’t blame myself that I didn’t gave it a shot. It came to me that I wanted to get those things that I’ve had longed for, in my own good way… mas masarap siguro ang pakiramdam ng ganu’n, long term nga lang bago mo maabot. Instant money usually ends up in instant loss based on some stories that I’ve heard.

Suddenly, I’ve recalled what Professor Dumbledore told Harry Potter, “IT DOESN’T DO WELL TO DWELL IN DREAMS… AND FORGET TO LIVE…”.

FOR THE RIGHT REASON written by: Sukito

In a tiring day as it ends. I was about to go to sleep when something just crosses my mind. It was a tiny reflection that keeps tingling my thought before dream creates its illusion on me. Should I keep on using reasons for things and changes that comes along my way?
Everything happens for a REASON! Even our own existence in this world has a reason... a purpose per se... designed uniquely for each individual. It inspires us for a while especially in those down times and when we are indisposed of something. It was indeed an invisible incognito that we've been searching in the journey of life. It was a good thing to possess such mentality and notion that in every bad occurrences in our lives lies a valid reason from God... a blessing in disguise as I can say.
We tend to think that for instance , a breakup with a loved one will provide some space to move on and to find someone better and whose really worth of our love. An academic failure might challenge us to strive more in our studies and put our best foot forward in everything we do. A financial crisis can teach us to become more resourceful in terms of livelihood or to make us eager in doing our jobs well as a competitive worker and a productive citizen to our country. A domestic problem requires more quality time within the family as it will provide us time to know more of ourselves and those among of our family members as well. An accident, job termination, or even loss of a loved one and all those shortcomings that changes our lives upside down entails of more self-examination... a reality check-up... a test that we should pass and overcome as these will teach us to conquer our fears. So that, the next time something bad happens, we know what to do and how to deal with it.
On the contrary, we should stop using "reasons" more often as these will turn us as a constant failure in life. This attitude may make us lazy, kill the adrenaline rush that flows in our veins for us to become incompetent... chaining us for a lifetime boredom and immaturity. A prisoner of time itself.
Making an excuse all the time has its limitations too. Overusing of reasons has its end as well. It's like a medicine that when taken beyond its expiration date might result into poisoning... killing our body's system. Reasons should be used for the right reason itself. For us to move on and to be in the right path of destiny. To give hope to others and to give chance to ourselves.
Actually, a life with no reason is no life at all. Go on and live with a purpose and with a mission and never get stagnant. Maybe this is what the abstract of reasoning is all about. So be it.

A BIRTHDAY DATE WITH GOD written by: Sukito

What really makes one person happy?
This question always pops up in my mind whenever my birthday comes. I do not know if what should I expect out of myself and from the people around me. When I was a kid, my birthday was one of the awaited day to celebrate. Of course, lots of gifts and treats that brings some sense of excitement and surprise. Later on, I've figured out that as people grow... things change and we're starting to have different and bigger expectations in life. It's true then that nothing's permanent in this world except for change itself. I value toys and other material stuff before when I was seven and it made me contented somehow. Unlike today, I am more happy... maybe of some material things but big ones like real cars, gadgets or house and lot. Still, I assume that I am looking for a different kind of satisfaction which will last for long and which will bring me a genuine kind of gratitude and joy. Maybe, those which cannot be bought by money alone. Yet, I don't want to be a hypocrite because I know that money plays a big part in our everyday living especially nowadays and in times of crisis. Although, I have a different perspective in life right now. I want a life with sense and meaning which can show my worth to myself and to all those people I love.
Presently, I am still speechless and doesn't have a definite answer if I am asked of being happy or what have I done useful lately. Figures will be added in our age each time our natal days were remembered and celebrated. But, are we worth of that number? Am I accomplished enough though I have gone quite far in terms of experience? Have I learned something where myself can benefit for the better? Well, I do not know exactly. One thing I know is that I'm partly happy and will be filled up with contentment when I reach my goals. I want to live a life not only for me but most of all for my family. I wanted to be the one who will accomplish my parents' dreams of living a comfortable life. It includes securing my future as well. As it is said, "earn while you were young, spend when you are old". I wanted to be the conqueror of my own dreams without being dictated by the norms of society and what some say as right and wrong. Eventhough, time revolves around me and leaving me a feeling of being trapped in the pit. Anyway, I am grateful that I can celebrate my birthday in good health regardless of all those trials and difficulties I've been through. That what really matters. It made me a whole person and growing stronger to face another chapter.
For now, I am celebrating my birthday differently. Skipping family treats in fine dine in or in "dampa", hanging out with friends with "inuman" sessions... yet I don't drink alcohol. I think I'll just pray. Some might find it boring but it's mind-refreshing and can rejuvenate your faith. Prayer is the strength of man in times of turmoil and God's weakness for He has no choice but to listen and answer that prayer. Today, I heard a mass and just had my birthday date with God.
God bless...

NO NEED TO BE HOLY IN HOLY WEEK written by: Sukito

Holy macaroni! It's holy week again. Most people take advantage of this time for a vacation. May it be in their hometown provinces or in any beautiful beaches just to escape a busy city life. Personally, I don't usually go out of town whenever this time comes. I just stay at home and do church tripping. Some might think it's boring. But, maybe this is my way of unwinding myself from all the stressful events I've had and will have for the rest of the year. I do separate my vacation schedules. Out of town or swimming galore during summer vacation... and reflection during holy week. What I mean was, one is for myself, family and friends... and the other one is for my spiritual growth. I do go to hear a mass every Sunday and as long as I have a time. But, I should admit that I wasn't that active in church acivities or should I say that I am not a full blown practitioner. So, I really use my holy week vacation for meditation and reflection and to refresh myself as well. By the way, I make it point to join the long procession every Good Friday as my way of devotion or sacrifice. Anyway, walking is good for the heart. So, I am exercising my body and soul at the same time. Hitting two birds with one stone at the same as they say. Many people have their own and different versions of showing their devotion or their "panata" ( a Tagalog term used for making a sacrifice connected to a spiritual or religious manner and belief). Some folks have themselves crucified and reliving the life of Jesus Christ. This event was known and can be witnessed in San Fernando, Pampanga. Moreover, it has become a tourist spot in their place, visited by tourist and foreigners to document it or just to plainly watch it. In my part, if you're doing it for money, attracting tourist or in any other purpose excluding your personal faith... the sacrifice will be senseless and loses it's genuine intention for it shouldn't be boasted and must be humbly and sincerely done. Some people have their backs bleed to death or should I say with a fake blood while hitting it with a rod. There are also those that I've known who don't eat meat and lessen their food intake as they satisfy themselves with only bread and water for the whole day during this week. Many churchgoers do the way or the station of the cross and if they are more outgoing they do the "Visita Iglesia" or visiting seven churches while they pray. Others do contemplate on the mysteries of the rosary. Commonly, many Catholics avoid or do not commit sins during this time and just simply pray. Some don't care after all and they just enjoy their vacation... then call on God when they are sick. In any way possible, we all have our own ways of doing our sacrifices during this lent. It doesn't really matter how big or small it is. God doesn't look on it's quantity but on it's quality. If it's sincere from the heart or just a show for your image. It doesn't matter if how many novenas or rosary you've prayed or how many prayers you can memorize or even how many saints you can name. Faith is not a contest by impressing God with all fake means. Instead, faith is a commitment... a personal relationship between you and Him. It is immeasurable whether you're a religious practitioner or a non-practitioner. It is within you... if God dwells in your heart and in your mind by doing what is right and for the common good that pleases Him. Whatever religion we are into, it doesn't matter that much for we all have One God... and the faith we have in Him is exclusive for ourselves as long as the sincerity is there. We do not really need to be holy like the saints this Holy Week. All we have to do is to be good and that's it.

THE BLACK RAIN written by: Sukito

A “black rain” introduced itself on me when it rained out that night. Awakening thoughts of elegant isolation and disturbing silence where it dwells with the forsaken.

“Black rain” symbolizes sadness yet bears a heart for the broken. A heaven’s cry as the moon and the stars hides and mourns for the sanctuary’s rebellious night. Those are like teardrops falling from above and will make you wonder whose eyes have shed it. Teardrops that gives life as the friendly earth absorbs its loneliness. Loneliness that extends the living and resurrects the cycle of life and death.

It is a sanctifier that cleanse my mind and consoles my soul as it tickles every inch of my body. The solidarity of each raindrops removes the solitude in me and adds up a pinch of sensuality. The cluttering sound it makes in the rooftop is like a lullaby that brings comfort then puts me into sleep. And in there, everything is in a relaxing mode with all its calmness where good things are possible and bad things are reversible. A graceful exit to recharge for the next day…

The “black rain” may mean sadness. But… it will teach us to appreciate more of what happiness in life really means!

FIVE CRAZY THINGS TO DO WITHIN FIVE DAYS written by: Sukito

     Tired of living in your daily routines? Want something new or try something different? Well, do these crazy tips for fun and for gaining quite odd experiences that you can share if you want. Dare yourself!

Day 1: Eat All You Can

Satisfy your cravings. Eat all the food you want as long as you can and as long as you can afford. Do this regardless of your allergies and hypertension. Just don't overeat or you might end up killing yourself. Always have your medicine with you just in case. Tasting will do if you have this bad condition of the food that you've been dying for to eat. Skip your gym schedule for once and temporarily forget your "After Six" or "South Beach" diet. For an additional suggestion, dine in with your friends in an "Eat All You Can" restaurant. Once again, do not eat more than the capacity of your tummy because this activity is highly prone for constipation and LBM.

Day 2: Sleep All Day

Have you heard of the song "Sleep All Day" by Jason Mraz? This one is a recharging thing to do. Don't set your alarm clock. Turn off your cellphone. Then, cancel all your appointments within that day. Not applicable for students during weekdays but highly recommended for the workaholics. For girls, pretend that you are "Sleeping Beauty" and for guys, assume that you are the male version of the said fairy tale. If you can't really fall asleep after counting thousands of sheeps in your head… skip this step and proceed to the next one. I am not suggesting the use of sleeping pills coz it will make your sleep artificial. All you have to do is sleep more than your hours of sleep or if you can… do it the whole day. However, don't oversleep or you might end up sleeping for a lifetime.

Day 3: Shout Out!!!

This craziness is 95% guarantee of feeling good afterwards and 5% guarantee of losing your voice. All you have to do is go to the highest place where you can possibly be. It may be on the top of the building, a mountain peak or if there's no other choice… your rooftop will do. I don't suggest climbing up in the billboard because other people might think that you're nuts or insane not unless you want to be in the news as a freak. Anyway, wherever that highest altitude you are standing… all you have to do is to shout out loud to the very top of your lungs with all your anguish in the world. It sounds cheesy, but it works! Just make sure no one hears or recognizes you when you do this. Moreover, this stuff has the capability of taking away your burden in some point and will make you feel light about yourself. I think, this is way much better and challenging than making your friendster or facebook shoutout.

Day 4: Say Cheese :)

Staple the best smile you got on your face. Keep on smiling and "say cheese" to any people who cross your path. I know that it sounds weird or will make you look ridiculous especially smiling with no reason at all or in front of a total stranger. However, doing this can guarantee you 70% of friendship in return and 30% of meeting your soulmate… who knows?! In fact, smile is the cheapest… yet the best gift anyone can give. Side effects of having a lockjaw might happen if done with exaggeration. But, make sure you brush your teeth before flashing out your smile.

Day 5: Be Wacky!

Upload your wackiest video ever on "You Tube" or in any video hosting site of your choice. Make a crazy move, act or stunt and show to anyone that you can be funny too! Then, see if how many views your video can get after uploading it. Others might think you are insane while others might appreciate your sense of humor and find it cool. Doing this may open a window of an opportunity for you of being discovered as a comedian or an actor especially if you got the x factor. You can also earn fans or much better, friendship from your viewers. If you cannot afford or have an access of making a video… a wacky photo of yourself will do. Moreover, taking a wacky video or picture with your loved ones or with your family is way much better. Remember, "the more… the merrier!". Aside from the famous line that "laughter is the best medicine", I can say that laughter is a good virus… for it is contagious in a good way. The outbreak it brings, makes the infected place happier and free of worries. It's a good feeling to make someone laugh and happy just by being wacky. Warning!... uploading a wacky video is highly addictive.

     To sum it up, this article as a whole doesn't intend to make you look stupid by doing these crazy things. It's up to you if you want to give it a shot. But, these tips will be helpful somehow specifically for those stressful ones. It's about freeing yourself from a busy life once in a while and going out of your shell that bores you. You can be adventurous even in trying out on simple things. I am hoping that these so-called five crazy things will teach us how to feel light-hearted in dealing with the trials and challenges our life has to offer. Unleash again the child and the funny side in us without getting binded by what the social norms and the rules of morality dictates, without being pressured by what some folks tells us if what's the right thing to do. It's all about our own choices and free will that will enable us to live beyond the normal things we can do and in a limited world that stops us from discovering more of ourselves. As Kris Allen of American Idol says in his single, "Live Like We're Dying". Pretend that this is your last day on earth. Life is short, but will be perceived as long-lived if it goes with a purpose of exploring beyond our limitation. Take things easy and be cool.:) 

Photo by: Sukito San