Friday, November 11, 2011

SUICIDE... A CRY FOR HELP! written by: Sukito


"People don't die from suicide... they die from sadness".
A normal boy who always smile later found dead in his room, shot himself while leaving a suicide note beside him. A happy and friendly girl, overdosed herself with pills... killing herself after a break up with her boyfriend and she is pregnant. A responsible parent poisoning his/her children and killed himself/herself afterwards because of poverty and financial crisis. A life... wasted because of depression... because of suicide... because of the insensitivity of the people around them.
Suicide is intentionally hurting or killing yourself and ending your life believing that you are hopeless and in deep sorrow. A state of mind in dilemma and great confusion. It is human's way of saying, "I quit". Those who commit suicide has this not in the right path and unreliable mindset... thinking that ending one's life will end up their problems as well, which for me is false and a selfish act. False, because there's always a solution in any problem (though sounds cheesy), only if the one who is burdened will have a strong hold on his/her faith in whatever religion. A selfish act because the person who commits suicide only thinks of himself and how will he be out of the trouble without considering the burden of those he or she will leave after his death. I do not condemn those who have committed suicide, dead or alive, but the act and the thought of it. I'm not trying to be preachy and I don't hold judging opinions about this matter because I've been down there and I know how it feels when you are in a situation where darkness is blacker than black... and you are feeling alone... seeing no one and hearing no one while searching for even the little possible light you can vaguely see. Definitely, people who commit suicide are the persons who's in need for moral, emotional, and professional support and suicide is just their desperate way of crying for help. People who can't even understand themselves on how the way they think, act and feel in any bad circumstances they are into.
I remember one time when I've accidentally turned the channel in one show and they're topic was "depression". In the show, Oprah Winfrey said something about that "depression ' is like getting trapped underneath the building after the earthquake while hearing the rescuers say, "no one's down there anymore, let's go and leave", and they can't hear you no matter how hard you shout and call for help where no single voice is coming out of your mouth as you hear the rescuers' voices fade away.
When you try to balance and ponder the situation, it's not really "suicide" that kills but 'depression". Depression simply means a very deep sorrow and anxiety and emptiness that one feels. Much worst if you have it for a longer period of time within you. So, better never nurture it... in your mind and in your heart. It's a silent disease... like a soul-eating termite that bites each pieces of your character in pain. Until you come to realize that all your hope is gone and you are just a vulnerable dust that will be taken by the deadly wind when it blows and whisper into your head... saying, "hey, you're game is over... quit now!". To make it short, the more you think of your sadness... the more you will dwell in it. And the more you dwell in it, the more likely you will commit suicide. And I can testify that it's true. So, before your sorrow eats you up, divert your attention into something and anything else. Run away from it and do not dare it because it's like a virus that will ruin your system like in computers. It will kill your inspiration, happiness, confidence and self-worth. It will chase you down and haunt you in your bed and lonesome time even in your attempt to escape from it. That is why many of those who have it can't sleep for days or having an irregular sleeping patterns because of overthinking of many negative thoughts, events and outcomes. Some resort to heavy drinking or sleeping pills just to get some sleep. Others resort to eating a lot of junks and sweets with their eyes wide awake 'til gloominess shadows them.
On the other hand, others deal with depression and commit suicide because of old traditions like the "harakiri" in Japan and I do not exactly remember the name but that one tribe here in the Philippines featured in the show, "Che Che Lazaro Presents: Suicide", which any member of them even at the younger age openly commit suicide as their sign of bravery wherein in a civilized world of character measurement, it is a sign of weakness of easily giving up.
Some situation indicates that it runs in their family, in the genes. You can observe this when in one clan or family, all the deaths of their relatives or family members are because of suicide. Quite unbelievable but true in some cases. Scientifically, they call it as bipolar disorder or bipolar depression. They say that its a chemical imbalance which requires professional treatment.

Currently, more teenagers today are impulsive especially in family relationship and love issues which when turned into frustrations results in immediate suicide. Others are because of an "emo" lifestyle which even they don't really kill themselves yet manifest suicidal tendencies on their personality which later turns into their necessity and habit which makes it hard for them not do it anymore because of blood lust satisfying themselves of pain such as being a "cutter" or the one who cuts his/her wrist usually and making it a part of their normal living especially when they are being hurt and rejected.
Moreover, emotionally... traditionally... a lifestyle trend... or scientifically, suicidal tendencies are caused and triggered by depression. Not because someone shows a smiling face doesn't mean he's happy. Sometimes persons with depression hides in a mask especially in front of anyone else. So, family members and friends should be vigilant of one's mood swings and behavior. Most especially if the person starts to withdraw himself from the rest of the crowd or from the world, always alone and doesn't have any drive to do something but to be left alone in his room. Making himself singled out from anyone else.
Of course, you can help... anyone of us who knows someone suffering from this condition can be a big help. You can talk to the person but be careful with your words and don't do prejudging his character and what he's presently going through. It's not just simply talking and put in mind that it's not a "question and answer portion". It needs timing. You can invite him or her to do some activities of his/her interest together with you. then you can do the simple talk within that moment. Share your own personal experience first or much better trust your secret with that person so you can earn his/her trust back... where he/she can easily open up to you. Better yet, if you don't know which word to use... just be a good listener. And it will be a big help even just an outlet for what they have been carrying all along inside them. It will give them relief somehow even you don't have the permanent solution to their problem. Also, try to make them understand that they should help themselves too by holding on to God or to their faith. Of course, for a worst condition and for a much safer aid, the person needs to accept that he needs help... especially professional help, with the combination of minimizing stress, and having a strong relationship with the people around him/her.
As for me personally, it's my faith in God that saves me at the end of the day. I'm not the religious type then... but it's really true. You need to be fierce and brave enough to face the problem. You have to accept it as a challenge and not as a trial that will bring you down. Try to see the opportunity in every difficulty. Adjust yourself to be more positive in life and you will invite a chain reaction of positive results. It's never too late and remember that there will always be an available help for you. Put up a good fight in life and NEVER QUIT!

Friday, November 4, 2011

RESPECT FOR THE DEAD written by: Sukito


This year I failed to visit the cemetery for All Soul's day because of this untimely fever with cough and flu. Anyway, I'll try to make it up some other time. I have the rest of the year to visit my dear ones who have passed away in anytime of my availability. It's the prayers that counts after all and that's what the souls need wherein we can do it anywhere... all the time.
Last year, I have this one unforgettable visit in the cemetery with my family. I saw a beggar who entered and I thought that he's going to beg for some alms for those people who's inside the said place. I prejudged again. To my surprise, he sat as he placed a mat in front of one tomb, put a dirty artificial flowers which he pulled out from his garbage sack in front of the epitaph, lit a candle, knelt down and prayed sincerely. I kept on observing him and it was a long prayer. I've tried to pass on his back just to read the name on the epitaph. I supposed that it was his mother based on the date written on it. I somehow felt goosebumps not because of scary stuff but because I felt his genuine and deep love for his mom that he still honors even death gets in their way. I felt his sorrow and his longing for a lost loved one. People used to pass on the place where he is seated and they looked at him and stared at him from head to foot... seems like they are judging him in something negative notion and some in great pity on him. Just by his appearance, he can really caught the attention of the cemetery goers. Some people especially those nonsense teenagers used to tease him and laugh and make fun of him... and he doesn't mind it at all. I should have done something and have defended him in any possible way against those shallow-minded youngsters. But, I was preoccupied in my thought of many negative outcomes just in case I interfere in the situation plus the fact of little guilt within me because of judging him in the first place. Luckily, cemetery guards came to the rescue and all ends up well. He remained calm amidst that situation where he is the one being poked down and he doesn't care of what others might think about him. I think that what matters to him is how he will show his love for his mother although its not on his side anymore to defend him. Time has come and we were about to leave and I still saw him there while eating some few biscuits with water on the side all alone in front of his mom's grave while doing a slight chat on that stone with the cross. Others might assume that he is crazy and insane. But for me... it was a moving moment which his love for that special person six feet under the ground prevails and appears on his aura. I don't want to get sentimental, but the scene for me was heartfelt. And so the story goes...
Just by observing around when you visit the cemetery specifically here in the Philippines... which is quite shameful and unfortunate to admit, some bring liquors and getting drunk with their peers and creating trouble at the end, others bring playing cards and gamble, some makes loud noises and doing some soundtrip which is not in the right place, others are doing "public display of affection" specifically the lovers wherein it should be done in some place private and outside the territory of the dead, some bring guns and sharp weapons even it's not necessary while having a short temper which later might result into trouble. What I am trying to say is that there's a proper place and occasion in any action we're going to do and we should be responsible for our own actions. RESPECT for the dead is the keyword here and there will surely be a "Rise of the Dead" if it's possible when we never learn which is right and wrong! It's a sincere prayer for their souls... that's what they need.
Belated meaningful Halloween to all.