What really makes one person happy?
This question always pops up in my mind whenever my birthday comes. I do not know if what should I expect out of myself and from the people around me. When I was a kid, my birthday was one of the awaited day to celebrate. Of course, lots of gifts and treats that brings some sense of excitement and surprise. Later on, I've figured out that as people grow... things change and we're starting to have different and bigger expectations in life. It's true then that nothing's permanent in this world except for change itself. I value toys and other material stuff before when I was seven and it made me contented somehow. Unlike today, I am more happy... maybe of some material things but big ones like real cars, gadgets or house and lot. Still, I assume that I am looking for a different kind of satisfaction which will last for long and which will bring me a genuine kind of gratitude and joy. Maybe, those which cannot be bought by money alone. Yet, I don't want to be a hypocrite because I know that money plays a big part in our everyday living especially nowadays and in times of crisis. Although, I have a different perspective in life right now. I want a life with sense and meaning which can show my worth to myself and to all those people I love.
Presently, I am still speechless and doesn't have a definite answer if I am asked of being happy or what have I done useful lately. Figures will be added in our age each time our natal days were remembered and celebrated. But, are we worth of that number? Am I accomplished enough though I have gone quite far in terms of experience? Have I learned something where myself can benefit for the better? Well, I do not know exactly. One thing I know is that I'm partly happy and will be filled up with contentment when I reach my goals. I want to live a life not only for me but most of all for my family. I wanted to be the one who will accomplish my parents' dreams of living a comfortable life. It includes securing my future as well. As it is said, "earn while you were young, spend when you are old". I wanted to be the conqueror of my own dreams without being dictated by the norms of society and what some say as right and wrong. Eventhough, time revolves around me and leaving me a feeling of being trapped in the pit. Anyway, I am grateful that I can celebrate my birthday in good health regardless of all those trials and difficulties I've been through. That what really matters. It made me a whole person and growing stronger to face another chapter.
For now, I am celebrating my birthday differently. Skipping family treats in fine dine in or in "dampa", hanging out with friends with "inuman" sessions... yet I don't drink alcohol. I think I'll just pray. Some might find it boring but it's mind-refreshing and can rejuvenate your faith. Prayer is the strength of man in times of turmoil and God's weakness for He has no choice but to listen and answer that prayer. Today, I heard a mass and just had my birthday date with God.
God bless...
