AN IMMEASURABLE FAITH written by: Sukito

It was January 9, 2011... when I've had this jeepney ride with my mom. We were heading halfway to our destination when a middle-aged guy came riding inside the public vehicle. He's wearing an ordinary black shirt paired up with a dirty-looking maong short. He got tunnels in his both ears including some piercings in his face. Most of all, the one that caught my attention and all the passengers in the jeepney as well was that the man wasn't wearing any footwear, not even a single pair of slippers. Aside from the fact that his feet was totally dirty and muddy. I suppose that everyone who saw him that day will think that he's insane. The only thing that convinced me that he's not nuts was when he paid for his fare. He knows his destination as well as his change for his fare and he speaks simple but clear and normal too. He's going into somewhere far while he knew that he's barefooted. He's also not ashamed on his looks. And I'm surprised when I saw that he's carrying a rosary in his pocket as he pulled out his money. So the story goes...

When I got home, I kinda watched the news... and only then that I knew and recall that January 9, 2011 is the "Feast of the Black Nazarene" where its devotees used to travel barefooted and go all the way to the Quiapo Church where the said patron saint lies and being paraded within the vicinity. Walking without anything on your feet is only one way to make your sacrifice for any petition, healing, or thanksgiving you wanted to do in return. And as we all know that joining the procession of the said feast is really life-risking, tiring and dangerous at the same time for it is definitely overcrowded and stampede-like where some folks are not making it 'til the end. And in the news, 6 million devotees are expected to participate in the procession or maybe more.

I suddenly remember the man that I saw that day who's barefooted and who looks like a drug addict and got those body piercings on him. He is a devotee of the Black Nazarene! And his faith obviously doesn't reflect on his outside appearance. It made me think and smile somehow that faith in God should really start and come from within and not on the external looks.

LOOKS ARE DECEIVING written by: Sukito

Recently, I've had this unexpected experience in a drugstore. It was an ironic encounter and made me think somehow.

It was that day when my mom asked me to buy an eye drop for her. My mom gave me seventy pesos (Php 70.00) to be exact assuming that it's more than enough for the price of an eye drop for the red eyes. Later, I was in the drugstore and I already got what I needed. So, I started to fall in line. I noticed the man ahead of me in the line towards the counter. He's a skinny, dark and old man with three kids holding on his hand. I assumed that those are his children and they pretty looked like that they haven't taken a bath for days. No offense meant for them and I don't mean to be rude but that's how I can easily describe them based on the way they appearred to me. I can't deny to myself that I felt a little pity on them, to the man and to the kids. And so the story goes...

When it was my turn to pay for the eye drop on the counter, the sales lady already punched the item in the cashier and said that the total cost of the item that I got was seventy five pesos (Php 75.00) in all. I was about to pull out my money in my pocket when I realized that I only have seventy pesos, no more... no less. Unfortunately, I didn't bring any extra money that time. So, I lacked out an amount of five pesos (Php 5.00). I'm quite confused and I told the sales lady that I have to get out first and get back home to provide the lacking five peso amount of the product that I bought... though I know that our home is quite far in the said drug store in terms of distance. Without further ado and explanation, the man that I just felt pity with got near me in the counter and paid the remaining five pesos. No other words came out of my mouth that time but "thank you". And the man just bowed down after I said my gratitude on him. Then, he left away immediately out of the drug store with his kids without any words at all.

I'm so focused of feeling pity for them and it turned out that I'm the one who's in need of help from him. I felt judgmental of myself towards them and that I perceived them in their external appearances without knowing what they are capable of doing. Maybe, it was only a little amount of five pesos and that simplest and humble gesture from him means a lot and impacted me so much. Looks are really deceiving sometimes and we shouldn't really judge the book by its cover. I suddenly remember what Alanis Morissette asked on her song, "isn't it ironic... don't you think?".

LOTTO FEVER ONCE AGAIN written by: Sukito

Have you already heard the song, "Billionaire", by Bruno Mars and Travie McCoy? It's in trend to listen to it right now especially if you are one of those Filipinos who plays for the chance to win Php 135 million and still growing each time as long as no one hits the jackpot. Whenever this time comes, you can somehow say that, "Money really makes the world go round".

I don’t really gamble in any kind, may it be legal and definitely never illegal. But this time, I’ve tried to give it a shot… who knows? Libre lang naman ang mangarap. Hindi nga lang ang pagtaya, bente pesos din ‘yon. At the back of my mind, I was thinking that twenty pesos is worthless if you’re lucky enough to win the jackpot price. It was a long line at pumila pa rin ako. Wala naman ‘yon kumpara sa ibang pilang napilahan ko… gaya ng sa pagbabayad ng tuition fee na umiikot pa sa buong campus building no’n.

I just wanted to know if how does it feel to play with guessing that six numbers of Philippine Lotto Draw that can make a change in anyone’s life eventhough it wasn’t a big deal for me. It was indeed a game of chance, and normal weird thoughts came into my mind then. I was imagining those things that I will buy just in case I won. I was thinking of a house and lot, a car maybe, a condo unit, franchising a big business, clothes, shoes and the likes, going out of town or out of the country will do, donating to our church or into any charity. Lastly, “balato“ syempre sa pamilya’t mga kamag-anak. Anyway, before my illusions goes a long way. I’ve realized that all those things that I’ve thought of having are mostly material. Money will always be money! I don’t want to be a hypocrite to say that I don’t need it. Even it was often identified as the root of all evil. That’s what we are earning for and we still need it for a better way of living especially if you are already married with kids. Actually, it really depends upon the person if where and how is he/she gonna use it. I am thinking too if those people that I’m with in the line were also desiring of those things that I’ve had in mind. They are people in all walks of life, may mayaman, may mahirap, may empleyado, may tambay, may pulubi… syempre, mawawala ba ang mga sugarol at ang mga mananaya talaga ng lotto. ‘Pag pera na talaga ang pinag-uusapan, naghahalo ang balat sa tinalupan!

Anyways, it turned out that my six numbers weren't lucky enough to be picked. Thank God, I didn’t expect too much on it! As it was said, “With great expectations, comes more frustrations”. At least, I wouldn’t feel frustrated after all. It was only a try and I wouldn’t blame myself that I didn’t gave it a shot. It came to me that I wanted to get those things that I’ve had longed for, in my own good way… mas masarap siguro ang pakiramdam ng ganu’n, long term nga lang bago mo maabot. Instant money usually ends up in instant loss based on some stories that I’ve heard.

Suddenly, I’ve recalled what Professor Dumbledore told Harry Potter, “IT DOESN’T DO WELL TO DWELL IN DREAMS… AND FORGET TO LIVE…”.

FOR THE RIGHT REASON written by: Sukito

In a tiring day as it ends. I was about to go to sleep when something just crosses my mind. It was a tiny reflection that keeps tingling my thought before dream creates its illusion on me. Should I keep on using reasons for things and changes that comes along my way?
Everything happens for a REASON! Even our own existence in this world has a reason... a purpose per se... designed uniquely for each individual. It inspires us for a while especially in those down times and when we are indisposed of something. It was indeed an invisible incognito that we've been searching in the journey of life. It was a good thing to possess such mentality and notion that in every bad occurrences in our lives lies a valid reason from God... a blessing in disguise as I can say.
We tend to think that for instance , a breakup with a loved one will provide some space to move on and to find someone better and whose really worth of our love. An academic failure might challenge us to strive more in our studies and put our best foot forward in everything we do. A financial crisis can teach us to become more resourceful in terms of livelihood or to make us eager in doing our jobs well as a competitive worker and a productive citizen to our country. A domestic problem requires more quality time within the family as it will provide us time to know more of ourselves and those among of our family members as well. An accident, job termination, or even loss of a loved one and all those shortcomings that changes our lives upside down entails of more self-examination... a reality check-up... a test that we should pass and overcome as these will teach us to conquer our fears. So that, the next time something bad happens, we know what to do and how to deal with it.
On the contrary, we should stop using "reasons" more often as these will turn us as a constant failure in life. This attitude may make us lazy, kill the adrenaline rush that flows in our veins for us to become incompetent... chaining us for a lifetime boredom and immaturity. A prisoner of time itself.
Making an excuse all the time has its limitations too. Overusing of reasons has its end as well. It's like a medicine that when taken beyond its expiration date might result into poisoning... killing our body's system. Reasons should be used for the right reason itself. For us to move on and to be in the right path of destiny. To give hope to others and to give chance to ourselves.
Actually, a life with no reason is no life at all. Go on and live with a purpose and with a mission and never get stagnant. Maybe this is what the abstract of reasoning is all about. So be it.

BATTLE OF THE LOSERS: The Quirino Granstand Hostage Drama written by: Sukito

It was a fine Monday, August 23, 2010, when Senior Police Officer Rolando Mendoza took his hostage drama inside the Hong Thai tourist bus in front of the Quirino Grandstand, Manila.

Actually, I find this hostage crisis as tragic and stupid at the same time. It's a lose-lose situation for the two sides who got involved in this scenario and to those who stood up in between. Try to see it this way, Captain Rolando Mendoza, the hostage taker, end up dead and in vain for he didn't get any of his demands about what he claimed as injustice to him after being relieved from his post due to an extortion and robbery complaint filed against him. No offense meant to his family, but it was such a desperate move of him. First and foremost, Captain Mendoza, as a policeman, should be the first person to know the consequences and the results of his own actions not including the fact that his brother is also a policeman who should have had guided him in the right path when he still has the opportunity of communicating to his brother. The hostage taker shouldn't have included and took the lives of those unfortunate tourist regarding his misfortune because they have nothing to do with it. Unless, he's out of clear thinking and he just wants to use those foreigners as his human guinea pig to get noticed by the government or assuming that he can gain back his post through that way. Although, I'm on his side of claiming his benefits because the guy still worked and earned for it. Whose employee wouldn't be dissapointed of not getting his benefits anyway? Yet, Capt. Mendoza should have thought of a more wise and right decision to fix his case.

The poor hostages was the unfortunate player in this drama. They were just having fun in exploring our country and some of them ended up breathless before the day ends leaving the other survivors traumatized and in pain with hospital bills and loss of their loved ones. Some of them thought of joining forces inside the bus against the hostage taker but they weren't brave enough to make a stand and they wrongly overestimated the presence of our national police believing that they can be saved and be freed from the gunman. Well, it's kinda too late for them to make a stand. They should have had done it beforehand. Regret really comes to an end.

The policemen who responded to the tragic event were the ones being thrown with tomatoes afterwards because of the failed mission. Adding the fact that some of them took some picture taking while smiling and posing at the scene of the crime. Personally, I find it awkward and insensitive of them to do that while others are mourning and grieving. It's fine that they took pictures, but it should be while they were in action of investigating the crime scene and not posing or smiling like a model. Of course, what do you expect? It earned a lot of negative feedbacks and violent reactions not only from the Chinese nationals but in some fellow Filipinos as well. I wanted to believe that those policemen who tried to rescue the hostages were good. Only that, they lack of proper training on how to handle such situation, lack of updated equipment and tactics, and lack of strategic and firm command from their officers who are in charge.

For the Hongkong and the Chinese nationals, I, as a Filipino do sincerely apologize and extend my condolences for their loss. But please, let us not generalize all the Filipinos the same as Capt. Mendoza. It's an isolated case! It's not a racial issue. It's not race against race! All of us as individuals has our own and unique way of thinking. It doesn't mean that if one person within that nationality have done one evil thing... it represents his whole race. It's kinda unfair to hear. That's why I thanked Jackie Chan for defending the Filipinos though he 's purely Chinese. I admire his wide range of thinking and not being biased while balancing the situation. It's not everybody's fault but only one man's mistake... driven by the situation. Let's stop the blame game and pointing if whose fault is this and that. Nobody won in this crisis. All of us are losers unless the right solution and justice will be served. God bless us all!

photo courtesy of: seerpress.com

A BIRTHDAY DATE WITH GOD written by: Sukito

What really makes one person happy?
This question always pops up in my mind whenever my birthday comes. I do not know if what should I expect out of myself and from the people around me. When I was a kid, my birthday was one of the awaited day to celebrate. Of course, lots of gifts and treats that brings some sense of excitement and surprise. Later on, I've figured out that as people grow... things change and we're starting to have different and bigger expectations in life. It's true then that nothing's permanent in this world except for change itself. I value toys and other material stuff before when I was seven and it made me contented somehow. Unlike today, I am more happy... maybe of some material things but big ones like real cars, gadgets or house and lot. Still, I assume that I am looking for a different kind of satisfaction which will last for long and which will bring me a genuine kind of gratitude and joy. Maybe, those which cannot be bought by money alone. Yet, I don't want to be a hypocrite because I know that money plays a big part in our everyday living especially nowadays and in times of crisis. Although, I have a different perspective in life right now. I want a life with sense and meaning which can show my worth to myself and to all those people I love.
Presently, I am still speechless and doesn't have a definite answer if I am asked of being happy or what have I done useful lately. Figures will be added in our age each time our natal days were remembered and celebrated. But, are we worth of that number? Am I accomplished enough though I have gone quite far in terms of experience? Have I learned something where myself can benefit for the better? Well, I do not know exactly. One thing I know is that I'm partly happy and will be filled up with contentment when I reach my goals. I want to live a life not only for me but most of all for my family. I wanted to be the one who will accomplish my parents' dreams of living a comfortable life. It includes securing my future as well. As it is said, "earn while you were young, spend when you are old". I wanted to be the conqueror of my own dreams without being dictated by the norms of society and what some say as right and wrong. Eventhough, time revolves around me and leaving me a feeling of being trapped in the pit. Anyway, I am grateful that I can celebrate my birthday in good health regardless of all those trials and difficulties I've been through. That what really matters. It made me a whole person and growing stronger to face another chapter.
For now, I am celebrating my birthday differently. Skipping family treats in fine dine in or in "dampa", hanging out with friends with "inuman" sessions... yet I don't drink alcohol. I think I'll just pray. Some might find it boring but it's mind-refreshing and can rejuvenate your faith. Prayer is the strength of man in times of turmoil and God's weakness for He has no choice but to listen and answer that prayer. Today, I heard a mass and just had my birthday date with God.
God bless...

PNoy FOR PINOY! written by: Sukito

He wanted to be called as "P-NOY", stands for President Noynoy, instead of his initials. Today, June 30, 2010, Benigno Simeon "Noynoy" Cojuangco Aquino III will be inaugurated as the 15th president of the Philippine Republic to be held at the Quirino Grandstand in Luneta Park, Manila.
He accidentally got into the decision of running into presidency after his mother's death, former Philippine President Cory Aquino, before the first computerized election took place where the use of Precinct Count Optical Scan or PCOS machine will be tested first hand by the Filipino voters. As Senator Nene Pimentel jokingly says that PCOS stands for "President Cory's Only Son" wherein it sounded like a hint if who's going to win in the presidential race. And so the story goes...
Even before he won, thousands of do's and dont's, requests, petitions, assessments, complaints, suggestions, prayers and goodluck were posted on his fan page/s. Not to include those resumes that was sent to his house in Times Square. I am just hoping that those written words for P-Noy will not just remain as plain words but will be in deed as the fulfillment of his promise wayback when he was still courting the votes of the Filipinos especially those who are in the poverty line. Of course, Noynoy is only human and we can't expect that he can accomplish all those things right away. People should give him enough time to prove himself to the public. And in return, he should and I believe that he would be worthy of this trust for the common good. For the people are the ones who put him in power out of respect, love, dignity and intellectual choice. While some, sad to say, doesn't really care after all if who's going to lead the country or what.
Personally, I'm hoping that P-Noy will stand by his own name and will prove himself away from the shadows of his respectable parents, Ninoy and Cory. And that he would not only hear the cries of the people but respond to it as well, that he would not perceived his presidency as a job but a devotion, and that he will be the servant of the public and not the master of it.
They say that it's alone in the top, but you'll never be... when you'll earn the public trust and you have the people on your side. Goodluck to our new President Noynoy Aquino! Long live the Philippines!

photo courtesy of: myvotematters2010.files.wordpress.com

I KNOW WHAT I DID THIS SUMMER written by: Sukito

It was this summer, April 27, 2010… when I almost let my negligence kill myself and my mom's as well. There's no other people in our home aside from my mom and I wherein I'm the only one who's awake. It was dawn time or should I say early morning when I started to boil some water in the kettle for a cup of coffee. I haven't got enough sleep that day, so I decided to take a nap in my room and trying to convince myself that I'll be awake when the water starts to boil. Still, I took some short sleep while the gas stove was on in the kitchen. Then, I blacked out… without realizing that I was sleeping soundly for an hour and a half. Until… my mom woke me up in panic and I was in awe as the first thing that comes into my mind was the water that I was waiting to boil which would only have lasted for about fifteen minutes and I figured out as I've looked at the at the wall clock that it had been more than an hour since I fell asleep. Thank God that my mom showed her alertness and presence of mind and didn't easily get carried away with the situation. The kettle was already flaming and its hard plastic part in its holder melts down in fire. The water inside it obviously runs out really dry. And there's smoke all over the house. My mom turned off carefully the gas tank and not the stove due to an instinct that it might have blown up the whole place including the both of us if she turned off the stove first because of the heavy pressure and heat. We opened all the windows and the door afterwards to let the smoke comes out of the house. Then my mom and I sat down without any words as she began to pray by herself as I did the same thing too. I assumed that my mom thanked God in her prayer for we have been spared in a more tragic ending and I feel the same way too. I apologized deeply to my mother with the feeling of guilt that stabs my heart whenever I remember this incident. If only I have been more aware of the consequences of my negligence and drowsiness. Knowing the fact and being exposed in the television that summer is "Fire Prevention Month". I felt stupid for myself that time for I've ignored the warnings around me. I was thinking that, what if my mom didn't woke up and both of us did sleep soundly? Will we be able to survive or be awake if we're already suffocated?

After this traumatic event, my mom told me that it's still not her time, for maybe God wants her to fulfill her purpose in our family and to take good care of us. Then, she asked me… how about you, why do you think you're still alive? It was a long pause. I was speechless and I didn't have even a single word to answer the cheesy question. Now, I am more aware and careful of my actions and wondering the purpose of my existence in a meaningful way. Life is a short journey that can be ended up in just a snap and any form of survival in any misfortune is a bonus from God that we should go on and prove the worth of our existence. Not trying to be preachy, but... it's true.

NO NEED TO BE HOLY IN HOLY WEEK written by: Sukito

Holy macaroni! It's holy week again. Most people take advantage of this time for a vacation. May it be in their hometown provinces or in any beautiful beaches just to escape a busy city life. Personally, I don't usually go out of town whenever this time comes. I just stay at home and do church tripping. Some might think it's boring. But, maybe this is my way of unwinding myself from all the stressful events I've had and will have for the rest of the year. I do separate my vacation schedules. Out of town or swimming galore during summer vacation... and reflection during holy week. What I mean was, one is for myself, family and friends... and the other one is for my spiritual growth. I do go to hear a mass every Sunday and as long as I have a time. But, I should admit that I wasn't that active in church acivities or should I say that I am not a full blown practitioner. So, I really use my holy week vacation for meditation and reflection and to refresh myself as well. By the way, I make it point to join the long procession every Good Friday as my way of devotion or sacrifice. Anyway, walking is good for the heart. So, I am exercising my body and soul at the same time. Hitting two birds with one stone at the same as they say. Many people have their own and different versions of showing their devotion or their "panata" ( a Tagalog term used for making a sacrifice connected to a spiritual or religious manner and belief). Some folks have themselves crucified and reliving the life of Jesus Christ. This event was known and can be witnessed in San Fernando, Pampanga. Moreover, it has become a tourist spot in their place, visited by tourist and foreigners to document it or just to plainly watch it. In my part, if you're doing it for money, attracting tourist or in any other purpose excluding your personal faith... the sacrifice will be senseless and loses it's genuine intention for it shouldn't be boasted and must be humbly and sincerely done. Some people have their backs bleed to death or should I say with a fake blood while hitting it with a rod. There are also those that I've known who don't eat meat and lessen their food intake as they satisfy themselves with only bread and water for the whole day during this week. Many churchgoers do the way or the station of the cross and if they are more outgoing they do the "Visita Iglesia" or visiting seven churches while they pray. Others do contemplate on the mysteries of the rosary. Commonly, many Catholics avoid or do not commit sins during this time and just simply pray. Some don't care after all and they just enjoy their vacation... then call on God when they are sick. In any way possible, we all have our own ways of doing our sacrifices during this lent. It doesn't really matter how big or small it is. God doesn't look on it's quantity but on it's quality. If it's sincere from the heart or just a show for your image. It doesn't matter if how many novenas or rosary you've prayed or how many prayers you can memorize or even how many saints you can name. Faith is not a contest by impressing God with all fake means. Instead, faith is a commitment... a personal relationship between you and Him. It is immeasurable whether you're a religious practitioner or a non-practitioner. It is within you... if God dwells in your heart and in your mind by doing what is right and for the common good that pleases Him. Whatever religion we are into, it doesn't matter that much for we all have One God... and the faith we have in Him is exclusive for ourselves as long as the sincerity is there. We do not really need to be holy like the saints this Holy Week. All we have to do is to be good and that's it.

THE BLACK RAIN written by: Sukito

A “black rain” introduced itself on me when it rained out that night. Awakening thoughts of elegant isolation and disturbing silence where it dwells with the forsaken.

“Black rain” symbolizes sadness yet bears a heart for the broken. A heaven’s cry as the moon and the stars hides and mourns for the sanctuary’s rebellious night. Those are like teardrops falling from above and will make you wonder whose eyes have shed it. Teardrops that gives life as the friendly earth absorbs its loneliness. Loneliness that extends the living and resurrects the cycle of life and death.

It is a sanctifier that cleanse my mind and consoles my soul as it tickles every inch of my body. The solidarity of each raindrops removes the solitude in me and adds up a pinch of sensuality. The cluttering sound it makes in the rooftop is like a lullaby that brings comfort then puts me into sleep. And in there, everything is in a relaxing mode with all its calmness where good things are possible and bad things are reversible. A graceful exit to recharge for the next day…

The “black rain” may mean sadness. But… it will teach us to appreciate more of what happiness in life really means!