DESTINY and DECISION

     We are the maker of our own path... and it's that one big decision of a lifetime which can change our lives forever.

     We normally ask for a sign when we are facing a moment of making big decisions. Some relies their future with what the stars hold for them. But actually, we are the ones who has the final say of what we wanted to do with our lives. We decide on something because we want change and we want to make our dreams happen. We decide because we want things to go on our way... which simply means that we are the one who has the power to shape of what our destiny holds for us. It's what we do today that will dictate of what lies ahead for tomorrow. It's never wrong to ask for Divine providence to provide us wisdom in any decision we make because it encourages us more to pursue for we have something to believe and to hold on to.

     Actually, deep within... we know what we want. We're just busy making alibis because we doubt and not fully trusting ourselves...

Photo by: Sukito San

RISKING and TRYING

     You'll never know unless you try...

     Life is a learning process and sometimes you have to take a risk for you to have the answers on what you've been looking for. Others are playing safe because of lack of courage to find out on what lies beyond. But who knows!... unless you give it a shot. It maybe a wrong choice when you get there but at least you've learned. You may succeed as well and reap the fruit of your brave act of risking and trying. After all, trying is never ending if we are eager to accomplish something. It's fine to be contented and be happy for what's enough for us. But greener pastures are not for free. Yet, it needs a little encouragement from ourselves to fuel our inner drive in life. "Victory comes to those who patiently wait", as they say, but it will be sweeter if you work hard for it.

     I remember what my mother always tell me that there's NO HARM IN TRYING. We just have to keep on going :)

Photo by: Sukito San

REST and REJUVENATE

     A good rest that keeps you rejuvenated is priceless.

     It's good to be busy and productive all the time. But, a good sleep and rest  at the end of the day is the best gift you can give yourself. If stress is already getting in your nerves and you start to lose your focus and concentration in anything you do, it only signifies one thing... just stop, keep calm and rest for a while. Your mind and body is your own engine, and if overused... might cause malfunction and will get something in return which isn't good when you reach your old age.

     So, aside from a healthy lifestyle... reward yourself with rest and be recharged for the next day:)

Photo by: Sukito San

BLOOD and FAMILY

     A true family always look out on each other and willing to give a hand to the one with a broken arm...

   Our personality, beliefs and upbringing is shaped first at home and with the family we are living with. I feel thankful and lucky that I grew up with a complete family... not so rich but happy and always ready to back you up in tough situations... in good times and in down times. We were taught by our parents to lift up each other and lend a helping hand to anyone in the family who need it the most in desperate times. A fight or quarrel sometimes is normal in a relationship but true blood always prevails in difficult moments. Others find their families in another home, in friends, in people who's always there beside them during their darkest hours... and I can't blame them. Maybe, family isn't really all about blood relations after all. I believe that family is about deep relationship between people who never pull each other down but with genuine intention of affection and care. Someone who will provide comfort when there is distress. Someone who will celebrate with you on your triumph and even on your simple accomplishments.

     Other people will come and go in our lives... but, our FAMILY will always be there by our side... no matter what.

Photo by: Sukito San

HOBBY and THERAPY

     Do what you love doing most and it will lead you to the right path!

     There were times when I'm down and tired from work and school and just wanted to divert myself and my mind away from the busy world. Doing my hobby which reminds me how to be focus on one thing while being productive and creative at the same time is my own dose of therapy against stress. In my case, I'll always end up with my first love... and that's drawing. Currently, I don't only sketch or draw on paper. But on a much bigger canvas and that's our "wall". Anyway, whatever you're hobby and passion is... just go for it. You'll never go wrong for it will always be worth of spending time with.

     By the way, the picture on this post with the bamboo wall mural is a sample of my humble masterpiece :)

Photo by: Sukito San

ON FINDING LOVE written by: Sukito

"Love will find its way even to the loneliest person on the planet, all you have to do is to open up your heart where love can perform its magic."
Every time I pass in front of this house just around the neighborhood, I always see this two old couple, around 80 years old or above, sitting beside each other on their house balcony while talking as they were looking from beyond. Well, it seems to me, though I can't hear what they're talking about, that they're still building their dreams together with their sweet touches on each others hand. Reminds me of this one song, "Growing Old With You", from the movie, "The Wedding Singer".
Actually, I'm not going to talk about love story and romantic moments here. I just have figured out how lucky are those who found their lifetime partners whose going to be with them for the rest of their lives here on Earth. Questions started to bother my mind then. How about those who have remained single despite their old age. Eventhough I believe that being single is a matter of choice, I still ponder if it doesn't bother them that no one's gonna take care of them when they got old. What if someone or anyone who reads this right now will never find his or her soulmate? It's just a sad thought for me that anyone can die in bed alone with no one else on his or her side.
Love will always be in the air especially every Valentines day. And this day will remind the heart broken and the lonesome that they need someone beside them. Or maybe they'll try to convince themselves that it's alright to be single. But still, it's quite an undeniable fact that there's something missing that needs to be filled up by someone or by love itself.
Anyway, everything we do in life is our own choice and what we decide is what we become. If we wanted to be with someone else or somebody... it is with our free will and eager effort to make it happen. Finding love sometimes is hard, but acceptance and patience will make it light.
This are just my thoughts and reflections about the complicated world of love, searching for it, having it and letting go of it, with the pain and sweetness it brings. This is real life and we are not living in fairy tales. But who knows?

A SCRIPTED LIFE? written by: Sukito

"Wherever LIFE will take you, LEARN from it!"
A pregnant woman gave birth to a child after nine months. A child grows. Baptismal, first birthday, second birthday, third birthday, and so on... as time passed by. The child goes to school, nursery, primary, up to secondary years. Making friends along the way. Attraction grows and first crush gets in the way. Falling in love. Then relationship follows... breaking up, ending it, moving on, and making a new one that you can call your special someone, or fighting for that person who made you feel how first love blooms. Going to college. Pursuing to finish your studies while getting a degree. Some gets another degree if they're wealthy enough or just love learning over and over again because it adds up to your title, your additional credential in your biodata. Others find a job after graduating to college. One course is enough especially if you have to work for your family. To give your parents a comfortable life. You can also regard it as paying it back forward to your mother and father for bringing you up the way you were right now. Others find a good and stable job that can provide even for building a new family. Others don't and just keeps on being a contractual, renewing contracts, and finding a new job for the nth time. While some... unemployed and jobless.
Unfortunately, some got lost along the way. Where road is tough and life is bitter. There are many who walks on this world and just taking their last breath who doesn't even know how it feels like to go into school, to even write a name or just read a simple letter... yet learns how to count even the simplest addition and subtraction. Some falls into vices, drug addiction, alcoholism, sex addiction, severe depression, big amount of debts, alone... with nothing on the pocket and with no one to lean on. Those who can't cope up of losing a loved one, who can't let go of fading memories, of torturing traumas that's digging up beneath their brain. Many who fails in life just quit and accepts the failure while others unfortunately loses their sanity and builds a fantasy of their own. Far from all life's troubles and problems... far from reality. But there were those who don't walk away from the game of life where everything for them is a challenge... where hardships strengthens them and burns the fire in their heart. Giving them the adrenaline rush that drives them to continue moving forward. To fight brave and square... and succeeding in the end where life is sweet and unpredictable.
Wedding bells ring and settling down is an option. A lifetime status of being "single" for the others, keeps on searching desperately. Looking for that someone who holds the other half of their heart. Others manages of being alone. They say they were happy and it's their choice. Isn't it? Those who got a divine calling and follow their vocation of being a priest, a nun, or a monk maybe.
For me, life is still a mystery yet a scripted one. Only that we are the one who chooses our own scripts and roles to act. We do not know what it holds for us. Maybe life is just one percent destiny and the rest is what we make it... of what we wanted to be. Life is like a cycle... we live in routines of doing everything within sunrise and sunset, of growing up and growing old, from a single cell into a dust of the Earth. I think, we should seize the day! Make the best out of ourselves in everything we do. Learning a lesson in life's bitterness and rejoicing with gratitude in life's sweetness. One's life victory is not measured by how one successfully lives but by how one rose up in every fall. Sounds cliche but true.
After wedding bells and honeymoons, one will become a mother and will give birth. A new child will be born. And the cycle goes on and on...

SUICIDE... A CRY FOR HELP! written by: Sukito

"People don't die from suicide... they die from sadness".
A normal boy who always smile later found dead in his room, shot himself while leaving a suicide note beside him. A happy and friendly girl, overdosed herself with pills... killing herself after a break up with her boyfriend and she is pregnant. A responsible parent poisoning his/her children and killed himself/herself afterwards because of poverty and financial crisis. A life... wasted because of depression... because of suicide... because of the insensitivity of the people around them.
Suicide is intentionally hurting or killing yourself and ending your life believing that you are hopeless and in deep sorrow. A state of mind in dilemma and great confusion. It is human's way of saying, "I quit". Those who commit suicide has this not in the right path and unreliable mindset... thinking that ending one's life will end up their problems as well, which for me is false and a selfish act. False, because there's always a solution in any problem (though sounds cheesy), only if the one who is burdened will have a strong hold on his/her faith in whatever religion. A selfish act because the person who commits suicide only thinks of himself and how will he be out of the trouble without considering the burden of those he or she will leave after his death. I do not condemn those who have committed suicide, dead or alive, but the act and the thought of it. I'm not trying to be preachy and I don't hold judging opinions about this matter because I've been down there and I know how it feels when you are in a situation where darkness is blacker than black... and you are feeling alone... seeing no one and hearing no one while searching for even the little possible light you can vaguely see. Definitely, people who commit suicide are the persons who's in need for moral, emotional, and professional support and suicide is just their desperate way of crying for help. People who can't even understand themselves on how the way they think, act and feel in any bad circumstances they are into.
I remember one time when I've accidentally turned the channel in one show and they're topic was "depression". In the show, Oprah Winfrey said something about that "depression ' is like getting trapped underneath the building after the earthquake while hearing the rescuers say, "no one's down there anymore, let's go and leave", and they can't hear you no matter how hard you shout and call for help where no single voice is coming out of your mouth as you hear the rescuers' voices fade away.
When you try to balance and ponder the situation, it's not really "suicide" that kills but 'depression". Depression simply means a very deep sorrow and anxiety and emptiness that one feels. Much worst if you have it for a longer period of time within you. So, better never nurture it... in your mind and in your heart. It's a silent disease... like a soul-eating termite that bites each pieces of your character in pain. Until you come to realize that all your hope is gone and you are just a vulnerable dust that will be taken by the deadly wind when it blows and whisper into your head... saying, "hey, you're game is over... quit now!". To make it short, the more you think of your sadness... the more you will dwell in it. And the more you dwell in it, the more likely you will commit suicide. And I can testify that it's true. So, before your sorrow eats you up, divert your attention into something and anything else. Run away from it and do not dare it because it's like a virus that will ruin your system like in computers. It will kill your inspiration, happiness, confidence and self-worth. It will chase you down and haunt you in your bed and lonesome time even in your attempt to escape from it. That is why many of those who have it can't sleep for days or having an irregular sleeping patterns because of overthinking of many negative thoughts, events and outcomes. Some resort to heavy drinking or sleeping pills just to get some sleep. Others resort to eating a lot of junks and sweets with their eyes wide awake 'til gloominess shadows them.
On the other hand, others deal with depression and commit suicide because of old traditions like the "harakiri" in Japan and I do not exactly remember the name but that one tribe here in the Philippines featured in the show, "Che Che Lazaro Presents: Suicide", which any member of them even at the younger age openly commit suicide as their sign of bravery wherein in a civilized world of character measurement, it is a sign of weakness of easily giving up.
Some situation indicates that it runs in their family, in the genes. You can observe this when in one clan or family, all the deaths of their relatives or family members are because of suicide. Quite unbelievable but true in some cases. Scientifically, they call it as bipolar disorder or bipolar depression. They say that its a chemical imbalance which requires professional treatment.

Currently, more teenagers today are impulsive especially in family relationship and love issues which when turned into frustrations results in immediate suicide. Others are because of an "emo" lifestyle which even they don't really kill themselves yet manifest suicidal tendencies on their personality which later turns into their necessity and habit which makes it hard for them not do it anymore because of blood lust satisfying themselves of pain such as being a "cutter" or the one who cuts his/her wrist usually and making it a part of their normal living especially when they are being hurt and rejected.
Moreover, emotionally... traditionally... a lifestyle trend... or scientifically, suicidal tendencies are caused and triggered by depression. Not because someone shows a smiling face doesn't mean he's happy. Sometimes persons with depression hides in a mask especially in front of anyone else. So, family members and friends should be vigilant of one's mood swings and behavior. Most especially if the person starts to withdraw himself from the rest of the crowd or from the world, always alone and doesn't have any drive to do something but to be left alone in his room. Making himself singled out from anyone else.
Of course, you can help... anyone of us who knows someone suffering from this condition can be a big help. You can talk to the person but be careful with your words and don't do prejudging his character and what he's presently going through. It's not just simply talking and put in mind that it's not a "question and answer portion". It needs timing. You can invite him or her to do some activities of his/her interest together with you. then you can do the simple talk within that moment. Share your own personal experience first or much better trust your secret with that person so you can earn his/her trust back... where he/she can easily open up to you. Better yet, if you don't know which word to use... just be a good listener. And it will be a big help even just an outlet for what they have been carrying all along inside them. It will give them relief somehow even you don't have the permanent solution to their problem. Also, try to make them understand that they should help themselves too by holding on to God or to their faith. Of course, for a worst condition and for a much safer aid, the person needs to accept that he needs help... especially professional help, with the combination of minimizing stress, and having a strong relationship with the people around him/her.
As for me personally, it's my faith in God that saves me at the end of the day. I'm not the religious type then... but it's really true. You need to be fierce and brave enough to face the problem. You have to accept it as a challenge and not as a trial that will bring you down. Try to see the opportunity in every difficulty. Adjust yourself to be more positive in life and you will invite a chain reaction of positive results. It's never too late and remember that there will always be an available help for you. Put up a good fight in life and NEVER QUIT!

RESPECT FOR THE DEAD written by: Sukito

This year I failed to visit the cemetery for All Soul's day because of this untimely fever with cough and flu. Anyway, I'll try to make it up some other time. I have the rest of the year to visit my dear ones who have passed away in anytime of my availability. It's the prayers that counts after all and that's what the souls need wherein we can do it anywhere... all the time.
Last year, I have this one unforgettable visit in the cemetery with my family. I saw a beggar who entered and I thought that he's going to beg for some alms for those people who's inside the said place. I prejudged again. To my surprise, he sat as he placed a mat in front of one tomb, put a dirty artificial flowers which he pulled out from his garbage sack in front of the epitaph, lit a candle, knelt down and prayed sincerely. I kept on observing him and it was a long prayer. I've tried to pass on his back just to read the name on the epitaph. I supposed that it was his mother based on the date written on it. I somehow felt goosebumps not because of scary stuff but because I felt his genuine and deep love for his mom that he still honors even death gets in their way. I felt his sorrow and his longing for a lost loved one. People used to pass on the place where he is seated and they looked at him and stared at him from head to foot... seems like they are judging him in something negative notion and some in great pity on him. Just by his appearance, he can really caught the attention of the cemetery goers. Some people especially those nonsense teenagers used to tease him and laugh and make fun of him... and he doesn't mind it at all. I should have done something and have defended him in any possible way against those shallow-minded youngsters. But, I was preoccupied in my thought of many negative outcomes just in case I interfere in the situation plus the fact of little guilt within me because of judging him in the first place. Luckily, cemetery guards came to the rescue and all ends up well. He remained calm amidst that situation where he is the one being poked down and he doesn't care of what others might think about him. I think that what matters to him is how he will show his love for his mother although its not on his side anymore to defend him. Time has come and we were about to leave and I still saw him there while eating some few biscuits with water on the side all alone in front of his mom's grave while doing a slight chat on that stone with the cross. Others might assume that he is crazy and insane. But for me... it was a moving moment which his love for that special person six feet under the ground prevails and appears on his aura. I don't want to get sentimental, but the scene for me was heartfelt. And so the story goes...
Just by observing around when you visit the cemetery specifically here in the Philippines... which is quite shameful and unfortunate to admit, some bring liquors and getting drunk with their peers and creating trouble at the end, others bring playing cards and gamble, some makes loud noises and doing some soundtrip which is not in the right place, others are doing "public display of affection" specifically the lovers wherein it should be done in some place private and outside the territory of the dead, some bring guns and sharp weapons even it's not necessary while having a short temper which later might result into trouble. What I am trying to say is that there's a proper place and occasion in any action we're going to do and we should be responsible for our own actions. RESPECT for the dead is the keyword here and there will surely be a "Rise of the Dead" if it's possible when we never learn which is right and wrong! It's a sincere prayer for their souls... that's what they need.
Belated meaningful Halloween to all.

TO BE SOMEBODY SOMEDAY written by: Sukito

Today, I have paid our water bill in our Barangay Hall's "Bayad Center". Outside the hall, a feeding program was being held and was organized by the social workers. As I took a glance of the street children sitting in front of the long table, they were very happy and excited while waiting for their free food. One volunteer entertains them and was explaining something as the kids patiently wait. A curious and hopeful thought stirred into my mind. I told myself that one day... one of those street kids will be somebody someday. One of them might be the future President of this country, a doctor, a teacher, a lawyer, a soldier, a pilot, a manager, an engineer, an executive, or maybe a humble volunteer who will be the one to be feeding another poor child like what he or she have been through as a kid. I really have a deserving high respect for the feeding programs especially for the street children. I perceived it as an act of not only feeding a hungry tummy but also resurrecting the hopes and dreams of the young ones and shaping their personality in some point as well.
On the other hand, I can see myself in those kids. I didn't grew up in a rich family. I am proud of my father and my mother that despite the financial crisis we've dealt before... they still manage to provide us for our everyday food though not extravagant, send us over to school though not private, dressed us with comfortable clothes though not expensive, sheltered us under a simple house though not a mansion. I am a nobody in school during my elementary years. I'm the one who's unnoticed, a boy from behind who just watches those extrovert and active boys who proudly plays basketball in front of everyone else. I may not have a lot of friends or peers who can always join me for a company or just to hang-out with, but I can assure them that I'm a friend 'til the end when they have me as a pal. Growing up introvert and alone isn't really happy but challenging at the same time because you will be hungry to prove yourself for the better. It's alone in the top that's what they say, but you will discover your strength and conquer your weakness in return. Personally, being always hungry for opportunities and chances is better than to be contented with nothing and die without even trying. There's nothing wrong of giving your dreams a shot. And there's no mistake that will teach you a lesson without risking for what you definitely want to do in your life... what your heart desires! Just try not to be greedy and selfish. Climbing up without stepping and pulling anyone else down. My childhood experiences and the struggles that my family and I have had humbles me down and makes me appreciate life's blessings much sweeter after its bitterness. My dreams and what I wanted to do most is still on the process and I am on my journey to get out of the maze.
All of us has our own journey to travel, dreams to chase, and goals to accomplish. Dream big! It's for free. Act on it and you will surely harvest the fruit of your labor someday! It's never wrong to be somebody someday.